[The Lisa on the screen tonight is significantly brighter than she's been in what may feel like weeks to anyone that's seen her relatively recently; it's like she's had a new breath of life, excited, energy bubbling just below the surface, words coming fast like she can barely keep herself from just blurting everything out. That new breath of life also extends to what she's wearing: what can only be described as a Gothic outfit with a red ribbon, lace everywhere, a crazy flower headpiece... it's almost beyond description, but she looks over the moon, standing in the middle of her room like she's about to go on stage.]Guys. Guys, this is
amazing. Okay, so first, business - nobody ever got in my room. I got the cameras up before - thanks, Anakin, I owe you, seriously - and they caught when this showed up. There was literally nothing. Not a shiver of movement, no hitch in the camera, nothing missing. Just... empty space one moment, and then this neatly folded on my bed the next. So I guess I freaked out over nothing before. Uh... sorry. I know I worried a lot of people. But hey, now we know, right?
Anyway! So
this is a band costume.
[She spins on the spot, slowly; the largely transparent ribbon low on her back was hard to see from the front, but draws attention now that she's in motion and at an angle.] Whatever I said about the music I'm getting memories of, I'm just gonna call it Goth now, because there's no other way to describe this thing. It matches the ones my bandmates wore, just with different ribbons.
[She gently fingers one end of the ribbon over her chest, smiling fondly.] I'm
pretty sure I was the red one. I'll have to see if I can find a penlight. But somehow it was already fit for me, almost? I barely had to have anything done to it to slip into it.
[A few experimental motions of her arms: in front of her, over her head, briefly reaching out of frame and coming back with her acoustic guitar.] So she can't have been that much younger than me when she wore this last. And that gives me some hope. Maybe I'm not too old or too much of a screw up for this either. And maybe I
can do this. Whether I feel like it or not... this costume is proof that somewhere, somewhen, Lisa Imai can make it. It might be as the bassist for a high school band; it might be as a solo country act. It might be something I don't understand yet.
But that's okay. I'll figure it out. I understand some of why I was hesitating; the other me's seen some things. I need to grow some more, but it'll be all right.
I'll be all right.
[Lisa giggles softly.] And I'll try not to get too smug about being a functional human being instead of a ball of stress.
Oh, and before I forget, I've seen the actual sheet music for LOUDER now, so I should be ready there soon, one way or another. Sorry it's taken me a while to get myself in gear there, but I think... maybe I needed to have this realization first. So that's coming! I'd say to look forward to it to the people I've been keeping in the loop while I work on it, but if I keep saying that everyone will expect the second coming of Santana or something, and new confidence or not I'm just not that good. So. Soon!
That's all, for real this time. Thanks for listening to me ramble.
[She waves at the camera with a gentle smile before the feed cuts out.]