Video - Diving into online dating apps

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Strange dreams from the night before plagued his mind but he settled down to try and carry on with his chosen mission in spite of them. ]

Are you a man or a woman interested in finding a man or a woman?

[ Anthony read the question carefully before typing in an answer and speaking it aloud although he was sitting alone. ]

Sure.

[ He wasn't entirely certain what Alec's preferences were so Anthony hedged his bets and picked both. All the better to give his antisocial cousin as many choices as possible. The profile pages were filled out with Alec's information, the usual age, sex and location goodies along with the likes and dislikes... which were heavier on the dislikes than the likes. And it was rounded out with a handsomely smiling selfie of Anthony himself. They did practically look like twins! So what if the smile was a lie and unlikely to actually be seen on Alec's face. The potential new couple could work that out when they finally met.

Anthony sat in the gloom of his bedroom typing up as many online dating profiles on his laptop as there were online dating websites. Not for him of course, he had some one. It was Alec's own fault for making it sound like he was out there looking for some one to love and going about it in entirely the wrong ways. He just needed a little help, a friendly nudge to get the ball rolling and then the rest was entirely up to him only some of these questions were so outlandish and wild that they needed to be shared with the 'Different' crowd! ]

How do you prefer to be kissed, slow and tender or hard and passionately?

[ He frowned and gestured at his cell phone. ]

How would you even answer anything like that?? We're meeting for the first time not arranging a sleepover! Its a bit much for a profile question isn't it? Only thing worse would be asking how much you are making or... diving right into the do you want kids question.

[ His room was dark with the shades pulled tightly closed and yet he still wore his sunglasses as if he needed them to shield him from the glow of the computer. After a while he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, while still keeping them very carefully shielded from the camera. ]

Sod it. I'll think of something to write in.

[ Anthony paused and frowned again at the screen.]

And now someone's asking if I'll watch their cat this weekend??

[ Each words was typed angrily. ]

Hire. A. Sitter.
At least a few of these don't look like lost causes. What do you lot think, is the online dating market always this bad? Maybe there is a better site out there?

Comments

[darkenedmoon]

I do not know HOW many times I can say to you that this is a bad idea, Anthony.

But of all the time I have known you? This is the worst one yet! Are you mad??

[serpentinthegarden]

Mad to use a few dozen dating apps or... mad to make a post about it on the network?

[darkenedmoon]

The former. The latter, I would call bragging.

I cannot imagine just what Alec might do to you for this.

[After all, she'd cottoned to his disinterest quickly enough...and she'd tried to be friendly enough.]

[serpentinthegarden]

Who says this has anything to do with Alec?

[ Which was something he would have to say just in case Alec was peeking on the network right about now. Not that Alec wouldn't eventually cotton on after a few blind dates but that was no reason to confess to anything... yet. ]

If a guy wants to put up a few dating profiles... I don't see why that should bother anyone. There is no harm in meeting new people, maybe even hitting it off, it'll be fine.

[darkenedmoon]

My next guess was going to be Mr. Fell. Seems my first hit did well enough.

[It isn't Yotsuyu's first trip around the block. Not to mention she has a intelligent, precious, precocious son who once thought his mother might need to date to be happy. Elliot had her best interest in mind, but she quashed that quickly...]

Certainly. If it is you doing your own dating profile. Signing someone up without their knowledge is...harassment at best. And I'm certain it isn't something they'd appreciate. Either of them!

[serpentinthegarden]

If everyone will stop pointing it out they will never even know they have been setup!

[ He spoke in a quickly hushed whisper which urged discretion. ]

That's the beauty of it. I'll have it look like a chance meeting! The rest will be up to them.

Locked

[temptationaccomplished]

Thank goodness he has at least one reasonable friend.

My dear Ms. Naeuri, how have you been? I do wish this were better circumstances.

Re: Locked

[darkenedmoon]

Oh, Mr. Fell! I've been well enough! I am so sorry that I missed your little soiree; you shall absolutely have to plan another, when I do not have a housing emergency pop upon me without warning.

One right before Christmas might be wonderful. Get the charm of the season, and perhaps last minute gifts out of the way?

Re: Locked

[temptationaccomplished]

An excellent idea! I know she wanted to do another, so I'll suggest that to her. We might yet still be able to pull it off. And thank you again for all your help with it. I'm so sorry you didn't get to see the fruits of your labor.

Next time! And we should see if Elliott might be interested.

[darkenedmoon]

That would be wonderful! I'm so glad it went well, even if I were unable to attend myself. Please do direct your friend to me if she needs another charitable donation, as well, will you?

I'd be delighted to ask, at least. I've an entire cadre of younger folk I could ask, Elliot and his friends. And maybe another personality could make an appearance--but I'd best keep that under wraps for now.

[temptationaccomplished]

[His tone, for Fell, is noticeably cold and snappish.]

Can't say I've had reason before to find out. Though I suppose I might just give it a go now, if that's how it is.

How do you like to be kissed, Anthony?

[serpentinthegarden]

[ A chill wind seemed to blow... He really ought to have been more cautious.]

Why are you asking me a question like that, you should know.

[ Often, and with angelic lips, clearly! ]

[temptationaccomplished]

Do I?

Clearly you're more interested in exploring other methods.

[serpentinthegarden]

Other methods!

[ He could have been flattered that Aziraphale was jealous but instead he felt the flames licking up around him, anger flaring that he was so easily doubted. ]

IF I were exploring other methods I could do so EASILY and without any of these lame dating sites!

[temptationaccomplished]

Yes, I suppose you could! Makes it all the more... vile that you're waving your contrived indiscretions around publically instead of just having an affair like a normal person!

video /locked

[scotch_egg]

[he is not there at the moment, which is good news for Anthony but he is going to be heading there soon enough which is very bad news for Anthony]

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

video /locked

[serpentinthegarden]

[ SHIT! ]

The hard part. Don't worry... Just go back to whatever you were doing...

[ Did he remember to lock his bedroom door? Anthony stood, abandoning his laptop briefly, thinking he ought to check that. ]

video /locked

[scotch_egg]

The hard part of what? Are you bored of Fell already? Is that what this is? You're just going to casually toss all that aside?

[when he does get there he's going to smack his cousin round the head, locked door or not]

video /locked

[serpentinthegarden]

This has nothing to do with Fell...

[ Eyeroll as he does latch the door. ]

It has everything to do with helping lonely people meet.

video /locked

[scotch_egg]

And you're lonely. [deadpan] And an idiot.

text

[hardtoignore]

[If Clarence was here in person he would be burying his face in his hands. As it is, he doesn't really think he can talk with Anthony face to face right now, or maybe ever again at all but...

Look, he unblocked him about a month ago and has been waiting for the right time to apologize for being a dick about things before, but never has it seemed like the right time to step in. Now, though, he can't really help himself to speak out.]

Why are you like this?

text

[serpentinthegarden]

[ He glanced down at the text, a bit surprised to see who it was from, but finding it worthy enough of one of his elegant responses. ]

Like what?

[ Brilliant. ]

[hardtoignore]

Purposefully causing conflict. Is it for attention? It feels like you're just wanting attention, good or bad.

[serpentinthegarden]

This was a good deed.

[ Mostly. The intention for good was there some where. ]

But usually? Its fun, isn't it? People can be so easy to piss off.

[hardtoignore]

Yeah, you're pretty good at that.

[Welp. This was going well.

Clarence takes a moment, takes a deep breath, and then types again:]

But I guess that's not the worst thing that you could be doing. And I know you're not. Like

[. . .]

I'M SORRY OKAY