Video - Diving into online dating apps

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Strange dreams from the night before plagued his mind but he settled down to try and carry on with his chosen mission in spite of them. ]

Are you a man or a woman interested in finding a man or a woman?

[ Anthony read the question carefully before typing in an answer and speaking it aloud although he was sitting alone. ]

Sure.

[ He wasn't entirely certain what Alec's preferences were so Anthony hedged his bets and picked both. All the better to give his antisocial cousin as many choices as possible. The profile pages were filled out with Alec's information, the usual age, sex and location goodies along with the likes and dislikes... which were heavier on the dislikes than the likes. And it was rounded out with a handsomely smiling selfie of Anthony himself. They did practically look like twins! So what if the smile was a lie and unlikely to actually be seen on Alec's face. The potential new couple could work that out when they finally met.

Anthony sat in the gloom of his bedroom typing up as many online dating profiles on his laptop as there were online dating websites. Not for him of course, he had some one. It was Alec's own fault for making it sound like he was out there looking for some one to love and going about it in entirely the wrong ways. He just needed a little help, a friendly nudge to get the ball rolling and then the rest was entirely up to him only some of these questions were so outlandish and wild that they needed to be shared with the 'Different' crowd! ]

How do you prefer to be kissed, slow and tender or hard and passionately?

[ He frowned and gestured at his cell phone. ]

How would you even answer anything like that?? We're meeting for the first time not arranging a sleepover! Its a bit much for a profile question isn't it? Only thing worse would be asking how much you are making or... diving right into the do you want kids question.

[ His room was dark with the shades pulled tightly closed and yet he still wore his sunglasses as if he needed them to shield him from the glow of the computer. After a while he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, while still keeping them very carefully shielded from the camera. ]

Sod it. I'll think of something to write in.

[ Anthony paused and frowned again at the screen.]

And now someone's asking if I'll watch their cat this weekend??

[ Each words was typed angrily. ]

Hire. A. Sitter.
At least a few of these don't look like lost causes. What do you lot think, is the online dating market always this bad? Maybe there is a better site out there?

Comments

[temptationaccomplished]

Yes, well, not in THAT way, surely. He's straight.

...Oh no! No, Anthony don't-- That would be a terrible idea on every level!

[serpentinthegarden]

Is he? Shit!

[ A frown at the online profile he had just submitted. ]

Think its too late to edit this? He might... dabble?

[ No? ]

Being with someone who cares for him might cheer him up. Get rid of any loneliness.

[temptationaccomplished]

Honestly, I mean that's very flattering that you thought he might have been interested in me.

[Wait, back on topic]

Darling, you mean well, but do you really think this is how Alec wants to go about this? Being the switch to your bait?

He can lure his own catches. You may find this hard to believe, but aren't the only attractive man in your family, you know.

[serpentinthegarden]

I know that! He is my cousin, I know he could find some one but I don't think he knows that. And he is out of practice... He was looking for some one at that paint and sip of yours. Families, Fell. There weren't many singles there.

I was only giving him a helpful push. Like... teaching a kid to swim by pushing them into the deep end.

[temptationaccomplished]

[Wrinkles his nose at that analogy and sighs]

And this is why I'm the angel.

Was he really looking there? He have had better luck at the supermarket.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ What a cute wrinkled nose he had... le sigh. ]

That is what he said. 'Meat market' he called it. Meat market Fell... Tell me some one who is using language like that doesn't need help!

[temptationaccomplished]

[You have a point, not that he didn't already know Alec struggled at socializing. But... meat market.]

It tells me someone should wash his mouth out with soap.

That's crass. Meat market. Hmph. As if they're cattle. I thought him a more sensitive soul than that.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Right? And as they appeared to be on the same page again Anthony leaned closer to the phone as if this some one brought him closer to his angel's side. ]

He does have a soft side but he hides it under that gruffness. We just need some one else to see that.

[temptationaccomplished]

[He smiles fondly and pulls Anthony...er, the phone, closer.]

I know. I just feel like he ought to find them himself. He deserves someone truly special, and he deserves to have been their choice, instead of this trick.

[serpentinthegarden]

You think it's a bad idea?

[ Some how it was persuasive when Aziraphale spoke against it. Blasted adorable angel... ]

Even if he never finds out it was a setup?

[temptationaccomplished]

Do you really think Alec won't find out? He's Alec.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ The growl and lull of his head marked a win. ]

Fine! I'll delete the profiles! But I still don't see how he is going to find anyone looking around the way he has been!

[temptationaccomplished]

But it's his way.

Maybe he'll just find someone. We weren't looking.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Fell was given another one of those long hard stares. ]

You were looking! Maybe not actively hunting anyone down on the street but... you were!

[temptationaccomplished]

Was not!

It was difficult not to look at you, is all.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Ever seen a serpent preen from a compliment? You certainly would be now as his smile practically glowed. A few more of those and he might forget his misfortune with his eyes entirely! ]

Too much temptation for you, angel?

[temptationaccomplished]

You vain thing.

But yes, like a rather juicy apple with a do not touch sign.

[serpentinthegarden]

Right in the middle of the garden too, no doubt.

[ He smirked but this gradually faded... the flirting was nice but there was something serious weighing on his mind. ]

In any of those old memories, did you ever look into my eyes?

[temptationaccomplished]

Come to think of it, I believe you wore sunglasses in every one of them.

Why, what's happened to your eyes?

[serpentinthegarden]

I never said anything had happened to them.

[ In those words. ]

They're... just getting sensitive to the light. I think I might have to buy some shades with darker lenses.

[temptationaccomplished]

Sensitive, really.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ He wasn't buying it... Or he was? It was one or the other but it was difficult to know which with that expression.

Fell should be told or shown but what if he didn't like what he saw? ]

Yeah. Taking some time off because of it so if you don't see me around, don't worry.

[ Lies were just easier. ]

[temptationaccomplished]

I see. I understand, of course.

I suppose I will ...just have to get my own doughnuts and distract myself.

[serpentinthegarden]

I, um...

[ That was decidedly unfair! Using his doughnut temptation against him. Damn it all if it wasn't effective. ]

I could watch you? Skype me when you are eating the doughnuts?

[temptationaccomplished]

I’m afraid I don’t remember how to use Skype. [He says, while currently using something presumably very much like Skype]

I could...whatever the angelic equivalent is for slither on over?

Oh, but no. No, that won’t do. We’d have to dim the lights and then you couldn’t possibly see.