Anthony J. Crowley (
serpentinthegarden) wrote in
tramitem_net2020-11-08 01:23 pm
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Video - Diving into online dating apps
[ Strange dreams from the night before plagued his mind but he settled down to try and carry on with his chosen mission in spite of them. ]
Are you a man or a woman interested in finding a man or a woman?
[ Anthony read the question carefully before typing in an answer and speaking it aloud although he was sitting alone. ]
Sure.
[ He wasn't entirely certain what Alec's preferences were so Anthony hedged his bets and picked both. All the better to give his antisocial cousin as many choices as possible. The profile pages were filled out with Alec's information, the usual age, sex and location goodies along with the likes and dislikes... which were heavier on the dislikes than the likes. And it was rounded out with a handsomely smiling selfie of Anthony himself. They did practically look like twins! So what if the smile was a lie and unlikely to actually be seen on Alec's face. The potential new couple could work that out when they finally met.
Anthony sat in the gloom of his bedroom typing up as many online dating profiles on his laptop as there were online dating websites. Not for him of course, he had some one. It was Alec's own fault for making it sound like he was out there looking for some one to love and going about it in entirely the wrong ways. He just needed a little help, a friendly nudge to get the ball rolling and then the rest was entirely up to him only some of these questions were so outlandish and wild that they needed to be shared with the 'Different' crowd! ]
How do you prefer to be kissed, slow and tender or hard and passionately?
[ He frowned and gestured at his cell phone. ]
How would you even answer anything like that?? We're meeting for the first time not arranging a sleepover! Its a bit much for a profile question isn't it? Only thing worse would be asking how much you are making or... diving right into the do you want kids question.
[ His room was dark with the shades pulled tightly closed and yet he still wore his sunglasses as if he needed them to shield him from the glow of the computer. After a while he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, while still keeping them very carefully shielded from the camera. ]
Sod it. I'll think of something to write in.
[ Anthony paused and frowned again at the screen.]
And now someone's asking if I'll watch their cat this weekend??
[ Each words was typed angrily. ]
Hire. A. Sitter.
At least a few of these don't look like lost causes. What do you lot think, is the online dating market always this bad? Maybe there is a better site out there?
Are you a man or a woman interested in finding a man or a woman?
[ Anthony read the question carefully before typing in an answer and speaking it aloud although he was sitting alone. ]
Sure.
[ He wasn't entirely certain what Alec's preferences were so Anthony hedged his bets and picked both. All the better to give his antisocial cousin as many choices as possible. The profile pages were filled out with Alec's information, the usual age, sex and location goodies along with the likes and dislikes... which were heavier on the dislikes than the likes. And it was rounded out with a handsomely smiling selfie of Anthony himself. They did practically look like twins! So what if the smile was a lie and unlikely to actually be seen on Alec's face. The potential new couple could work that out when they finally met.
Anthony sat in the gloom of his bedroom typing up as many online dating profiles on his laptop as there were online dating websites. Not for him of course, he had some one. It was Alec's own fault for making it sound like he was out there looking for some one to love and going about it in entirely the wrong ways. He just needed a little help, a friendly nudge to get the ball rolling and then the rest was entirely up to him only some of these questions were so outlandish and wild that they needed to be shared with the 'Different' crowd! ]
How do you prefer to be kissed, slow and tender or hard and passionately?
[ He frowned and gestured at his cell phone. ]
How would you even answer anything like that?? We're meeting for the first time not arranging a sleepover! Its a bit much for a profile question isn't it? Only thing worse would be asking how much you are making or... diving right into the do you want kids question.
[ His room was dark with the shades pulled tightly closed and yet he still wore his sunglasses as if he needed them to shield him from the glow of the computer. After a while he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, while still keeping them very carefully shielded from the camera. ]
Sod it. I'll think of something to write in.
[ Anthony paused and frowned again at the screen.]
And now someone's asking if I'll watch their cat this weekend??
[ Each words was typed angrily. ]
Hire. A. Sitter.
At least a few of these don't look like lost causes. What do you lot think, is the online dating market always this bad? Maybe there is a better site out there?
Action
Shit! Don't come barging in here!
[ He was hiding his eyes with closed lids but also there was some incriminating e-harmony profile still up on his laptop screen. Alec was free to take his pick of secrets. ]
Action
It made him frown, but a quicker glance made him livid]
What the fuck are you even doing? What the fuck? Are you dating people under my name? What kind of freaks are you seeing? Fuck! How do I delete this shit?
Action
[ Not the laptop! ]
Satan! WHOEVER...
[ He flew across the room to slam the laptop lid closed, meeting Alec's angry gaze only briefly before he remembered he was meant to be hiding these strange new yet familiar demonic eyes. ]
You weren't meant to see any of that!
Action
[he jumped a mile at those eyes, falling back into the chair. They didn't feel like contacts. They felt like something else taking over. His chest squeezed. He made a conscious effort not to grip his shirt and instead gripped the chair so hard his knuckles turned white. ]
What the hell are you turning into?
Re: Action
Him too. Why the Hell not.
[ With no reason to keep them hidden any longer his eyes fluttered open again and focused on Alec with stunning clarity even in the dark bedroom. ]
A demon. Its what I've always been, I just can't hide it anymore.
[ He frowned and head tilted at the white knuckles. ]
Do you need your meds?
Action
He shook his head and tried to get up, only succeeding on falling out of the chair and landing hard on the floor. He needed to calm down. Fuck he just needed to calm down. He pulled his knees to his chest in a subconscious gesture and tried to breathe]
Action
[ Maybe he had no right to call out his cousin's name or to drop immediately to the floor beside him hoping to hold him here on this Earthly plane just a little longer.
He wasn't human and demons, he was fairly certain, didn't have families but he still... shit Alec. Don't feel that way? Please. Don't cast him out too. ]
Just breath, in, out... Shit! Should I call some one?
[ Who!? Any one he called in would see Anthony as much of an oddity in need of medical care or a lab cage. ]
Aziraphale?
Action
Action
Fuck... I'm sorry! I didn't think! I only wanted to help you not... not this!
I tried to hide it all!
[ Stupid, stupid, stupid! All of this was so fucking stupid!
And his fault. ]
Action
I want it back... I want everything to be normal again...
[a deep breath as he clung to Anthony's arm]
What are you doing?
Action
[ As far as he was aware. Though things did seem slower and he felt detached from the world around them, that was what happened in a crisis. The world became a microcosm so that one could think.
He noticed the pills first and collected these from the ground to press them into Alec's hand. The phone was second but he hesitated on that uncertain whether he should call Fell or 911. It turned out he didn't dial either one. That heart wrenching request stayed his hand.
I want everything to be normal again.
If only things could be so simple... ]
What if they could? What if... everything could seem normal again?
[ It was a wicked glimmer of an idea. Something he thought himself oddly capable of even if he had never tried it before. ]
I could help to to forget all of this? It would be like it never even happened, clean slate.
Re: Action
But what about you? Won't you be alone?
Action
I wouldn't be.
[ Anthony reached out to snag his shades and settle them back onto the bridge of his nose, completing the disguise that he was just a normal person. ]
If you need things to be normal then they can be. Just say so.
Action
He reached up and with a weak hand tugged those sunglasses off to look into the bizarre eyes. He'd never get used to it. There were a thousand things he'd never get used to]
Family stays together, whatever happens. Just stop hiding from me. [a faint smirk] I'm too old for surprises. [he sighs and closes his eyes]
I'm so bloody tired.
Action
But he wasn't going to cry. No matter how nice it felt to be accepted or to still be thought of as family... to not be cast out. He was not going to cry. ]
You're not too old.
[ Time gradually began to speed up again, those longs seconds transforming back into minutes, though Anthony still remained unaware of their passing. ]
You're too dramatic. Its like living with Red FoxX.
I should get you to bed, let you sleep this off.
Action
Who the hell is Red Foxx? [and why does it sound like a porn star?
In any case he doesn't reply that he is old, he doesn't say that he's dying-- both of those would become evident with time.]
In a way I'm glad you're a demon... [he reaches up with a slightly shaking hand and grips Anthony's collar, not hard because he's as weak as a kitten]
Because if you don't take down that bloody dating ad I can exorcise you.
Action
American comedian. He was on Sanford and Son the bastardized version of Steptoe and Son. We gotta get you watching more TV...
[ Clearly Alec's televisional education had been lacking! ]
ERK!
[ But his wit was not! ]
I was hoping you would have forgotten you saw that after everything. Fine! I'll remove it! Them... It'll be like it never happened, totally normal.
Action
[he grunted and sighed as a wave of exhaustion flooded over him]
Don't be so concerned about me, alright? At least not when it comes to... dating. [he made a face at the word] I will never have what you have, and I don't want it.
[he wouldn't know what to do with it even if he had it]
no subject
That's not what you said at the Paint and Sip. You said you were looking. Bars were out so online dating seemed the next best idea. I knew you would never put an ad up.
[ And he was still going to take them down! He had been caught so the plan would never work out now anyway. ]
But I don't see the harm in your looking? You might not end up with what I have but you could find some one.
[ Trying to lift Alec off the ground was much like moving one of the blocks that made the pyramids. ]
Unless you're still on about that dying crap?
no subject
Anyway, I can handle it. I don't trust the internet. Anyone could respond. What if it's some psychopath or someone who does esports or whatever it is. Don't think I could stand the shame. [a joke...mostly]
no subject
[ It wasn't happening. Alec was far too weak this time to even shuffle! That became clear after a few attempts to lift his limp noodle self into a standing position. So... even if he wouldn't like it, even if he might hold a grudge, Anthony quickly lunged forward and hoisted his cousin in a fireman's carry. ]
Anyway that's why I was vetting them. I'm not going to let you go dating a serial killer or anything.
[ He stumbled his way to the door under Alec's weight but thankfully the elevator was on their floor. All he needed to do was sag inside and hit a button. ]
no subject
And just how were you planning to vet them? Show up with a questionnaire?
no subject
[ He corrected but only so Alec might grumble again. ]
And no! You don't show up to meet any of these people! The questionnaires are online. You ask them all the important questions before you ever even think of meeting.
no subject
[he shook his head]
People can say anything they want online. How do you know they're telling the truth?
no subject
I only have to find the one who is lying the least. Plug their name into the online phone books to see if they are actually registered in the area, reverse image search any pics they put up to make sure they didn't just google them, then you can check the online databases for criminal records. That's all a bit of a process... but I'd do it for you.
[ Because he cared.
The elevator slid to a halt one level down and Anthony attempted to rise from the wall he had been leaning on to pack the both of them down the hall to Alec's room. His poor cousin seemed to get heavier with each step but happily the bed was there to catch them when he eventually tripped. ]
I get it, you have your own way of doing things. Fell said you deserved someone truly special... I think that too! I was only trying to give you an edge, make finding some one easier since you were looking.
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