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Video - Diving into online dating apps

[ Strange dreams from the night before plagued his mind but he settled down to try and carry on with his chosen mission in spite of them. ]

Are you a man or a woman interested in finding a man or a woman?

[ Anthony read the question carefully before typing in an answer and speaking it aloud although he was sitting alone. ]

Sure.

[ He wasn't entirely certain what Alec's preferences were so Anthony hedged his bets and picked both. All the better to give his antisocial cousin as many choices as possible. The profile pages were filled out with Alec's information, the usual age, sex and location goodies along with the likes and dislikes... which were heavier on the dislikes than the likes. And it was rounded out with a handsomely smiling selfie of Anthony himself. They did practically look like twins! So what if the smile was a lie and unlikely to actually be seen on Alec's face. The potential new couple could work that out when they finally met.

Anthony sat in the gloom of his bedroom typing up as many online dating profiles on his laptop as there were online dating websites. Not for him of course, he had some one. It was Alec's own fault for making it sound like he was out there looking for some one to love and going about it in entirely the wrong ways. He just needed a little help, a friendly nudge to get the ball rolling and then the rest was entirely up to him only some of these questions were so outlandish and wild that they needed to be shared with the 'Different' crowd! ]

How do you prefer to be kissed, slow and tender or hard and passionately?

[ He frowned and gestured at his cell phone. ]

How would you even answer anything like that?? We're meeting for the first time not arranging a sleepover! Its a bit much for a profile question isn't it? Only thing worse would be asking how much you are making or... diving right into the do you want kids question.

[ His room was dark with the shades pulled tightly closed and yet he still wore his sunglasses as if he needed them to shield him from the glow of the computer. After a while he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, while still keeping them very carefully shielded from the camera. ]

Sod it. I'll think of something to write in.

[ Anthony paused and frowned again at the screen.]

And now someone's asking if I'll watch their cat this weekend??

[ Each words was typed angrily. ]

Hire. A. Sitter.
At least a few of these don't look like lost causes. What do you lot think, is the online dating market always this bad? Maybe there is a better site out there?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ It was too wicked to smile lovingly as his dear sweet angel was setting himself up but really! The bow tie, the jacket, the waistcoat, everything he wore was so well cared for but not exactly in step with today's fashions. Decidedly old-fashioned! ]

I do have a soft spot for old-fashioned.

[ And absolutely perfect that way. ]

[He looks up with an almost bashful smile, caught off guard at the smoothness and sweetness of the sentiment, though this is hardly the first time Anthony's been so clever. He forgets for a moment that he's supposed to be supplying ideas for wine.]

Oh.

Right, then, ah... Old fashioned aren't so very sweet. I'm thinking a slightly drier red might be in order. Maybe a nice Zinfandel--one with a little smokiness and spice.

[ The claim was made that old-fashioned wasn't so sweet but when flustered there was nothing sweeter! ]

I have just the thing. All I have to do is drop down to the kitchen to collect it then... wait around until I have some one to share it with.

[ He pointed at the rumpled bit of cloth that was only just visible onscreen. ]

Are you going to pack that shirt or just hold onto it?

[He looks down at the shirt, then packs it into his overnight bag with a glare.]

Oh, go get the wine.

I will! The glasses too.

[ He reached out to grab his shades and push them back up onto the bridge of his nose. A disguise in case he ran into Ellie or Alec. ]

Let yourself in when you get here? The code is the same.

And plates for the pastries! Oh, and do be careful you don't trip in the dark with those glasses--

Ta ta for now, darling.

Plates.

[ He agreed with a nod. Maybe also a tray with a few napkins for those crumbs Fell had been worried about. Anthony might have been evil and not against a few crumbs here or there but he could still be considerate. ]

Later, angel.

[Fell arrived quickly enough once he set himself to actually packing his bag. He overpacked, because he figured Anthony had space for one or two sweaters and a few bow ties, and a pair of trousers or two, and some underpants, and all manner of things that were not actually Anthony's--just so that Fell had them without having to always remember to pack. Yes, he could do his new quickchange power, but sometimes one just wanted to change clothes the old fashioned way.

And of course he had doughnuts, enough to share. He let himself in with a code and put the doughnut box down in the kitchen, before making his way to Anthony's room and giving a gentle knock on the door.]

[ Eerily the door creaked open of its own accord after the second knock. There were no locks to keep an angel out, nor was the room the same gloomily looking place it had been on the network. Oh, the shades were still drawn and the room still darkened but now there were candles spread about the room to give it more light and color and a tea tray, which had been repurposed into a wine tray, sitting on the chest at the foot of the bed.

Crowley was trying his best not to appear as eager as he actually was, and carried on lounging across his bed taking full advantage of the 'sick day' he had called in hours ago. ]

Angel!

[ Too eager. Way too eager. ]

Was the traffic too bad?

[ That was better. No one seemed eager when speaking about mundane things like traffic. ]

[Curious and surprised, he peeked behind the door. How magical! No mechanism at all! It was always so fascinating how those demonic powers worked. Fell put down the bag near the door, glowing brightly with joy at the eager greeting and the lengths Anthony went through to dress up his room.]

Anthony.

I took the underground. [Fell settled himself on the edge of the bed next to his very alluring demon. He leaned over to kiss Anthony hello.] You know, it was a miraculously smooth trip.

Funny how that happens.

[ Invited by the kiss he squirmed closer until his arms were wrapped snuggly around Fell's waist and a second greetings kiss could be dolled out to his angel's cheek. Aziraphale's smile lit up a room, funnily enough, it almost seemed like an actual glow. But it was likely only a trick of his new eyes and not some brief touch of divine light. ]

I was wondering how many magical abilities you might have gained.

I'm not even sure I could catalogue them all; seems I'm finding new things every day. [Usually by accident. He had seen what Anthony could use his powers for, and replicated some of the techniques. With a snap, his cocoa reheated itself, or his lights turned off. It was really very marvelous, but he had to wonder what the limitations were. How much power did an angel have and shouldn't he want to use it for better things than that?]

[He brushed his fingers along the snake tattoo, but didn't remove the sunglasses without permission.]

To be honest, I don't know if I should even be using them so freely. That memory of the Bastille suggested I got quite a scolding for too many "frivolous" uses of miracles.

Is it terrible, really, to use them for my own convenience?

Why not? They are your powers, they make life easier. And its not like anyone is going to come down from Heaven to smack your hand. Whatever groups we used to work for don't seem to exist here.

[ His angel was so very polite. The fingers wandering over the tattoo were like an ask... can I get closer, can I see more of this new demonic you? At least that was how it was interpreted as Anthony reached up to remove his shades. He was a touch hesitant but his confidence had been recently bolstered by the rather flaming comment that his golden eyes were cute.

He would see just how true that was as he carefully measured even the smallest expression.]

Thank God, or Satan, or whomever... We don't have to answer to anyone.

[He glanced upward.] You make it sound so simple.

[As the glasses came off, he gave another small, soft intake of air and the faintest hesitation, as if still trying to convince himself this change was real. In person, they're a more vibrant than the video call had led him to believe, and in the flickering candlelight, Anthony was stunning and otherworldly.]

[He cupped Anthony's face in his hands and smiled at his beautiful demon.]

Good, because I'm sure finding a demon lovely is positively blasphemous. But I'm afraid, to me, you are the loveliest thing in all of creation.

[ His own breath seemed to desert him leaving Anthony a gaping mess between those far too kind hands. Him! The loveliest thing in all creation!

After tempting humanity into eating that forbidden apple?

After all the other terrible and wicked things he must have done?

After...

Being given the honor of escorting the Anti-Christ baby towards the first steps of doomsday??

He didn't want to think of any of that! He wanted to coil up in Aziraphale's arms and while the night away with these sweet nothings but the guilt washed over him like the Great Flood and he found himself pulling back, leaving the comfort of his lover's embrace. ]

I thought that in person you might...

[ What? Turn away from him in horror? Perhaps Aziraphale should have. ]

Is it an angel thing, forgiving some one all their faults? Isn't there anything that I could do that would make you turn away from me?

[ Not that he wanted that either! But there must have been some crimes that were unforgivable even for angels otherwise he wouldn't have fallen in the first place.

He sucked in a breath which was more of a hiss before he flopped back onto his pillow. ]

Nevermind, forget it. Just... more bad dreams. They came with the eyes.

[Morality was different, he supposed, when one was an angel and a demon and not strictly human. Difficult to say, when one was at least mostly human; but some things, Aziraphale liked to think, were universally terrible and unthinkable acts, even to a demon of Anthony's caliber.]

Rape. Genocide. The things Clarence tried to accuse you of. Those would be unforgiveable.

[With a snap of his fingers in the direction of the entrance, the bedroom door kindly decided to shut itself and give them some privacy. He eased down onto the bed beside Anthony, laying on his side to face him.]

Your eyes are not something you need forgiven. They are a beautiful part of you.

...Would you like to talk about the dream?

[ Rape was horrible. He had never understood why anyone felt compelled to act that way to another person. And he was certain the deepest pit of hell waited for anyone who saw fit to harm a child. Maybe he had even escorted a few evil souls there personally.

It was that middle one that had him rolling his head and looking to the ceiling. Genocide. The end of the world wasn't exactly that but it was still the end of everything. ]

I'm not asking for forgiveness. We can't be anyway. We're unforgivable, demons... I worry that one day you might be driven away. One day you will get a memory, realize what I am and regret all of this!

Maybe it will even be today. I should have started with the nightmare as it involves everything.

[ He shifted again on the pillow until it was just the two of them, laying on the bed and staring into each other's eyes. ]

I was summoned to meet a few demons. We exchanged words... talked about our evil deeds, I suppose that's what demons do when they get together. Then they handed me a basket. Just regular old run-of-the-mill picnic basket.

Only it had the Anti-Christ inside it. My job was to send him on his way to his new family. The end times, Angel... And I was in the bloody middle of it!

[He looked away, mostly to frown down at Anthony's chest as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Anti-Christ. And once again, as with the apple, there was Anthony to courier in this dramatic upheaval.]

Surely Heav- [He thought of the archangels and changed his mind. Aziraphale looked up at him earnestly.] I wouldn't just allow this. I'd thwart you!

[But he had heard a horn sound off in the distance of that memory. The angels had said it was starting. They'd referred to wartime. They couldn't have meant- Oh, good lord- But they'd accused him of conspiring with Crowley, and he was, he was sure he was- After all, they'd talked about killing a child together...!!]

[...It wasn't Anthony's fault. He was told to get up there and make some trouble. It was what a demon was always supposed to do.]

[It was Aziraphale's fault. He was the angel. He was supposed to be the force of good in opposition to Anthony's wiles. And when it mattered most, he hadn't been.]

...I was supposed to thwart you.

You'd asked me to, I think, in that first memory. My very first. When you'd asked me to kill Warlock.

[ Such a bold declaration of thwarting made him smile. He wished Aziraphale had. The nightmare would have been so much better if once he had made it back to the Bentley and been given his orders the angel had popped up in the back seat, mocked him for being careless, and made off with the child before he could do any harm.

The temporary mirth faded when it became clear the news had upset Fell. ]

Maybe you did thwart me? I mean, clearly the world didn't end. We're here, talking to each other.

Unless...

[ He though too much sometimes. ]

It did and that's why our memories are all coming back to us in bits and pieces.

[A very sobering thought.] Perhaps everyone's worlds have ended. Maybe that's why we're all here--a Purgatory, of sorts.

I've been thinking... that magic school--I don't know where or how it fits into Earth's timeline, but I'm fairly certain it was you I was trying to summon.

Maybe because we were separated, as punishment.

Maybe Elliott wasn't wrong about reincarnation.

My people wouldn't have liked seeing an angel and a demon working together.

[ Which added weight to Aziraphale's idea they might have been separated on purpose. Could that have been done? The world ended, they were punished, but some how they managed to find each other anyway. ]

You must still have had your memories in the magic school if you thought to look for me. I would have... If I had remembered you sooner I would have searched Heaven and Hell for you.

[He kissed Anthony's forehead.] I know. I know you would.

I apologize for earlier. I should have never doubted your faithfulness.

[ Their earlier fight suddenly replayed in his mind with crystal clarity. He had almost forgotten. Fell had accused him of 'contrived indiscretions' a remark that had fueled his fury because it had hurt so deeply. It was nothing now, just a healed wound which ached only because he had recalled it. It seemed he could forgive Aziraphale of anything even without being asked. ]

Earlier you thought I was arranging a few hook ups.

[ His arm snaked out, reached around Aziraphale's back to pull the pair of them more snuggly together. It seemed he could as hadn't he also been pardoned. ]

I flirt with people when I play at the bars. You get more tips that way. And I remember what Irene said of me at that failed dinner party... But it's not true. I'm not some fly-by-night only toying with you until I get bored. You're important to me, Aziraphale...

[ The feeling felt oddly right but the words still momentarily caught in his throat as he was fairly certain in all the centuries they must have spent together he had never once said anything like this before. It was overdue really. ]

And I never want to lose you again.

[He curled into Anthony's embrace, soaking in the warmth

You didn't lose me. I was angry; I thought we had an [Agreement, no, that sounded too businesslike and contractual. Arrangement sounded too scandalous.] understanding and I'd thought you'd...changed your mind.

Flirting is fine; you're a performer, it's what you do. I'm content in the knowledge that I'm still your number one--what is the word?--"groupie"? [The nose-wrinkling smile and cheery vanity of the declaration faded to seriousness.]

But if this thing between us is ever not what you want anymore, or you want to change it, I want you to be able to tell me. You're important to me, and so is your happiness.

I didn't mean today, I meant I lost you before. You were important to me then too, in the past we can only partially remember. I don't think I ever said so.

[ His palm ran over Fell's back where he imagined the angel's wings must once have been, his fingers mingling in the soft brush of feathers that were no longer there. ]

We do have an understanding, angel. The only change I would make to that is to make it stronger. I never want you to have to worry I might run off without you.

Video - Diving into online dating apps

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