Text - OTA

[not_as_i_do]

Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a day of work and forget all of this. You have to be able to ... to put it away somewhere, just to focus on what needs doing.

But then some strange little random thing will remind me, and it all comes crashing back. Today, it was a young man's eyes, on the subway home. They were so blue, and I thought, 'my son has eyes like that'. But I don't have a son. Not here. But I do in the memories.

I know I should probably save these things for group, but ... somehow it's easier putting them here in writing. I feel like ... it should still all be secret. Like I should be used to keeping secrets.

I've never been secretive in my life.

Does anyone else have moments like this?

Comments

text;

[howkickassiam]

Same here. I'm an open book at the best of times. I've been holding this stuff in though, in a way where it comes out at 3am when I'm drunk.

[ This is a clear reference to his network posting of a few nights ago. ]

text;

[traceofeffort]

Ugh, yeah, this stuff kills me on more than one side. It's not bad some days, I'll be humming and then it'll be something from another life. And then on the bad days it's like I'm missing friends I never had and it just hurts.

Text

[neverjedi]

All the time.

One of the guys here was my... student and nearly child in another life. I trip over it all the time and find myself thinking things that don't apply here at all. Like being responsible for him or wanting to call him kid when he's my age.

It's frustrating and the more memories I get the worse it gets.

[darkforcerising]

It's like waking up and you suddenly don't have an arm anymore and you've got a robotic replacement.

You try to go about life like normal but you look down and there it is! A robotic arm! And you think, 'I didn't consent to this!'

But still: robotic arm.

[consortofalderaan]

I think this is a common feeling among the group of us.

And who can you tell outside of us?