Text - OTA

[not_as_i_do]

Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a day of work and forget all of this. You have to be able to ... to put it away somewhere, just to focus on what needs doing.

But then some strange little random thing will remind me, and it all comes crashing back. Today, it was a young man's eyes, on the subway home. They were so blue, and I thought, 'my son has eyes like that'. But I don't have a son. Not here. But I do in the memories.

I know I should probably save these things for group, but ... somehow it's easier putting them here in writing. I feel like ... it should still all be secret. Like I should be used to keeping secrets.

I've never been secretive in my life.

Does anyone else have moments like this?

Comments

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[neverjedi]

All the time.

One of the guys here was my... student and nearly child in another life. I trip over it all the time and find myself thinking things that don't apply here at all. Like being responsible for him or wanting to call him kid when he's my age.

It's frustrating and the more memories I get the worse it gets.

[not_as_i_do]

That sounds like a mindfuck if I ever heard one. Pardon my French, but it was the best fit. ... Have you experienced the same memories? It must be strange if you have to compare notes... One having a memory that the other one doesn't, and so forth.

[neverjedi]

We have one shared memory. Otherwise, there hasn't been any other overlap - I have memories of him that he doesn't have. It's... confusing.

[not_as_i_do]

Almost like one of you reading a book from the beginning and the other reading it from the end, is it?

:-/

[there's no suitable emoji for the little puff of a sigh he just made, but that will have to suffice]

How long have you both known you're connected to each other?

[neverjedi]

A few months, I think? More than three, less than six. Like I said, it's been strange-

but it's not bad.

[not_as_i_do]

I'd suspect there's some measure of comfort in knowing someone can relate to the things you're remembering, yeah. ... My name's Martin, by the way: Martin Whitly.

[neverjedi]

Hi, Martin. My names Ben Kenobi, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this but I'm glad to meet you.

[not_as_i_do]

Very much the same to you, Ben. It's a funny thing: I'm meeting far more people over this internet board than I did at my first group session. Was that the case for you, too, when all this started?

[neverjedi]

I think that the... more obvious supervision and rather dreary setting of the meetings tend to lead to fewer people attending than might otherwise.

But if you'd like to talk in person, at any time, I will be happy to meet you for coffee.

[not_as_i_do]

I think I'd enjoy that quite a bit. Do you have a particular coffee spot? If not, I can recommend quite a few lovely ones. My work takes me around the city, so I've shared a mug or two in just about every borough.

[neverjedi]

I work at the Aviator Sports Arena in Brooklyn. If you have a favorite spot anywhere remotely close to there, I'd be happy to meet you.

[not_as_i_do]

There's a little place on the corner of Marine Park - blue awning ... that's not far from Aviator. Not a lot of seating, but we could grab a bench in the park if the weather's nice.

[neverjedi]

That sounds perfect. I have my last student at 6. How about 7 for meeting?

Care to set up a log?

[not_as_i_do]

Seven's perfect. See you then?

Re: Care to set up a log?

[neverjedi]

https://tramitem-log.dreamwidth.org/14165.html Yep!