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New York style pizza isn't pizza, it's just a cracker with cheese on it.

Chigaco style pizza isn't pizza, it's just round lasagna.

Change my mind.

Good. Buy me a slice later.

Sure.

But before we leave this subject completely - how do you counter the argument that New York style pizza is a tortilla with cheese on it.

Tortillas don't have yeast.

I don't see the problem?

Different flavor profile, doesn't rise. Also turns into a cracker when baked and can't be folded.

Only when deep fried.

Put a tortilla in your oven and it will turn crunchy, I promise.

You think I use my oven?

That's cute.

You've cooked for me!

I used the stove. I know how to use the stove when I have to boil something.

Everything else, I can use the microwave to heat up.

Go put a tortilla in the microwave and see how long it takes to turn crunchy.

If I know my microwave, probably about ten minutes.

So start there. It'll either work or catch fire. Keep water nearby to throw.

I am smart enough to not throw water on electricity.

I meant on the fire not on the microwave. If it catches fire please unplug it first.

I have no plans to set anything on fire any time today.

Then I win; it's not a tortilla with pizza toppings either.

I guess I gotta go light something on fire now.