Video - Delving into the dark arts

[serpentinthegarden]

Alright people, there has been a lot of talk about magic lately... I'd like to ask around about it. How did you get it, what can you do?

I've asked a few people about this already. General consensus seems to be it just happens randomly and when you least expect it but I want to know if it could be evoked. These books seem to think so.

[ Anthony is seen to hesitate as he reaches up over the occult store displays  of jars of herbs and sage to grab a book with a Satanic looking symbol on it that his dear sweet mum, were she here, would have thrown out the nearest window. ]

This one suggests summoning a demon for powers.

[ He spoke as he flipped through the pages. ]

Make sure you chose the right demon, some are more friendly than others... prepare your request, offer something in return, perform the ritual at night. Ha! Demons hate circles, finding them offensive and insulting. I've never seen anything wrong with a circle...

[ Anthony snickered as he flipped to the next page thinking of Aziraphale and his magic circle. ]

Oh, here's a good one, light the correct incense. Different incense appeal to different demons. And apparently you need the right color candle for the demon you're trying to summon too.

[ He closed the book and looked to the selection of candles which was conveniently located under a selection of incense sticks. ]

Which would you chose if you were trying to summon yourself? Anyone know anything about these things?

Comments

[darkforcerising]

Apparently you do.

I would like to not know the future. It does not help with anxiety.

[serpentinthegarden]

Maybe if any of these were actually funny. The demonic t-shirt market is... sadly in need of a good phrase writer.

[ Anthony pouted and gave this some thought. ]

Are you getting flashes of the future too?

[darkforcerising]

Side job then?

Hell no. I'm just saying I'd hate to know the future. That's some kind of horror movie waiting to happen.

[serpentinthegarden]

Pass. I have enough to do with just the gardens.

I don't know. It might not be so bad. You could get the winning lottery numbers, avoid the bus that was about to run you down, avoid stepping in that wad of gum... It could have it's uses. You wouldn't be tempted to cheat destiny like that?

[darkforcerising]

It never turns out like that though. It's always that thing where it turns out everything you do to try to stop it makes it happen.

No thank you, I'll sit that Greek tragedy out. Hard pass on killing my father and marrying my mother.

[serpentinthegarden]

It would be very Twilight Zone. You get everything you want and then can't enjoy any of it.

Then again... there's nothing to say it has to be like that. What if it's more like Willie Wonka? You remember what happened to the boy who suddenly got everything he wanted? He lived happily ever after.

[darkforcerising]

Willy Wonka was terrifying. What was with your generation's brand of media?

[serpentinthegarden]

A few horror elements in an otherwise kid friendly movie put you off? Come on! Everyone loved to be scared of that tunnel scene!

[darkforcerising]

That tunnel is the least confusing aspect of that movie.

Charlie's grandparents all living in one bed? They haven't gotten up in years? How the hell do they go to the bathroom?

Willy Wonka's whole factory works on slave labor. And those Umpaloompa's job is to rap battle over morality while watching horrific things happen to children when they fall into one of Wonka's dangerous contraptions that he does nothing to prevent but say sarcastic 'oh, no, don't'. All because he can't figure out who to leave his fortune to, like he creates some weird Battle Royale adventure where candy is the villain.

Messed. Up.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Anthony's lip curled into a disgusted snarl. ]

I don't even want to think about that. The answer is only ever going to be adult diapers or strange chamber-pot shenanigans both of which are too horrifying to consider.

I always wondered about those Umpaloompas. Maybe... they are all masochists. I mean, they would have to be to all wear the same jumper and that awful green hairstyle, wouldn't they? I don't think we should judge.

And hey, those kids were warned that what they were about to do was a bad idea. It was their choice to go ahead and do it. Freedom of choice, that one. They knew the risks! Especially after it happened to the first kid... the rest should have known better really.

[darkforcerising]

I think we'll just have to disagree about what makes a good movie.

[serpentinthegarden]

Probably for the best. The Bond movies are better than anything we've mentioned so far anyway.

[darkforcerising]

I'll allow that.