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Video - Delving into the dark arts

Alright people, there has been a lot of talk about magic lately... I'd like to ask around about it. How did you get it, what can you do?

I've asked a few people about this already. General consensus seems to be it just happens randomly and when you least expect it but I want to know if it could be evoked. These books seem to think so.

[ Anthony is seen to hesitate as he reaches up over the occult store displays of jars of herbs and sage to grab a book with a Satanic looking symbol on it that his dear sweet mum, were she here, would have thrown out the nearest window. ]

This one suggests summoning a demon for powers.

[ He spoke as he flipped through the pages. ]

Make sure you chose the right demon, some are more friendly than others... prepare your request, offer something in return, perform the ritual at night. Ha! Demons hate circles, finding them offensive and insulting. I've never seen anything wrong with a circle...

[ Anthony snickered as he flipped to the next page thinking of Aziraphale and his magic circle. ]

Oh, here's a good one, light the correct incense. Different incense appeal to different demons. And apparently you need the right color candle for the demon you're trying to summon too.

[ He closed the book and looked to the selection of candles which was conveniently located under a selection of incense sticks. ]

Which would you chose if you were trying to summon yourself? Anyone know anything about these things?

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I don't know a damn thing about demons.

As for magic- empathic, I think machines and electronics are, um, I don't know what the right word is but let's go with I feel I have a connection with them. And I think there are a few other things...

I only know what they say about demons, summoning them is a bad idea, don't let them latch onto you... not what to do if you think you are one.

I could see that about you. They way you were tinkering with your arm an all. But, you think that's related or are you just good with machines?

What? That's not on Amazon?

This feels like something more is going on that just tinkering.

I mean... it may be, but my searches keep bringing up T-shirts. Who needs so many demonic t-shirts??

Spidey-sense, like your emotion sensing. Maybe you are some kind of powerful psychic.

Apparently you do.

I would like to not know the future. It does not help with anxiety.

Maybe if any of these were actually funny. The demonic t-shirt market is... sadly in need of a good phrase writer.

[ Anthony pouted and gave this some thought. ]

Are you getting flashes of the future too?

Side job then?

Hell no. I'm just saying I'd hate to know the future. That's some kind of horror movie waiting to happen.

Pass. I have enough to do with just the gardens.

I don't know. It might not be so bad. You could get the winning lottery numbers, avoid the bus that was about to run you down, avoid stepping in that wad of gum... It could have it's uses. You wouldn't be tempted to cheat destiny like that?

It never turns out like that though. It's always that thing where it turns out everything you do to try to stop it makes it happen.

No thank you, I'll sit that Greek tragedy out. Hard pass on killing my father and marrying my mother.

It would be very Twilight Zone. You get everything you want and then can't enjoy any of it.

Then again... there's nothing to say it has to be like that. What if it's more like Willie Wonka? You remember what happened to the boy who suddenly got everything he wanted? He lived happily ever after.

Willy Wonka was terrifying. What was with your generation's brand of media?

A few horror elements in an otherwise kid friendly movie put you off? Come on! Everyone loved to be scared of that tunnel scene!

That tunnel is the least confusing aspect of that movie.

Charlie's grandparents all living in one bed? They haven't gotten up in years? How the hell do they go to the bathroom?

Willy Wonka's whole factory works on slave labor. And those Umpaloompa's job is to rap battle over morality while watching horrific things happen to children when they fall into one of Wonka's dangerous contraptions that he does nothing to prevent but say sarcastic 'oh, no, don't'. All because he can't figure out who to leave his fortune to, like he creates some weird Battle Royale adventure where candy is the villain.

Messed. Up.

[ Anthony's lip curled into a disgusted snarl. ]

I don't even want to think about that. The answer is only ever going to be adult diapers or strange chamber-pot shenanigans both of which are too horrifying to consider.

I always wondered about those Umpaloompas. Maybe... they are all masochists. I mean, they would have to be to all wear the same jumper and that awful green hairstyle, wouldn't they? I don't think we should judge.

And hey, those kids were warned that what they were about to do was a bad idea. It was their choice to go ahead and do it. Freedom of choice, that one. They knew the risks! Especially after it happened to the first kid... the rest should have known better really.

I think we'll just have to disagree about what makes a good movie.

Probably for the best. The Bond movies are better than anything we've mentioned so far anyway.

I'll allow that.

Honestly, this sounds more like something teenagers do amidst their giggling sleepovers than something serious. Or an Internet meme. [She narrows her eyes at him a little, head tilting.]

I must know...what brought this up?

[She might give him an answer about what might invoke her, but not right this second.]

I've never thought of doing anything like this before.

[ Which he had to say just so she wouldn't think this were some sort of teenage flashback. ]

I generally tried to stay away from demons. Went to services every week to prevent falling under their evil influence... but, I have seen dozens of people doing these wonderful magical things and there was Fell, some of the things he said.

[ Anthony was meant to be mad at him still but this was proving difficult. ]

My idiot cousin trying to commit magical suicide. And that all, or at least most all, of my memories have been leading me to think I might actually be a demon.

Feels like I should know as much about it as I can. Harness any magic before it's too strong. Hell... maybe I can even use it for some good?

Your cousin doing what??

[Her expression goes shocked, and she cannot help but scowl at Anthony, now.]

What in hell--are you going to lock him up or--no, no. [The snap as Yotsuyu shuts her mouth is audible. This isn't her business with Alec, and she refuses to go down that path again.]

I am not much of a church-goer at all. I left that behind years ago, but I...well, if it helps, I'll try to bring back to mind whatever I can, I suppose. Just so something you don't consider doesn't make things go tits up, eh?

He wants to be everyone's guinea pig but only if they aren't using healing magic. Maybe he does actually have a death wish. Can you lock some one up for that?

[ He asked like that might actually be an option but, nah... It probably wouldn't work out. He would end up locked away rather than his cousin! ]

Wait a minute...--

[ Anthony needed to catch up here. ]

Are you saying you're a demon?

Heavens, no! Only in the boardroom, my dear! [But that does make her laugh a lot, which is something she sorely needs at the moment. While her boss is content to sit in his office, Yotsuyu does enjoy being his proverbial 'dragon lady' to cow people before he shows up.]

As for the locking up, it'd probably be in a psychiatric ward on suicide watch, but I'm certain that wouldn't endear you to him--or anyone, truly.

But no, since you did ask...I'm not a demon. I used to be a Mormon. I am pretty sure there is a difference.

HA, a Mormon! Pretty sure they work for opposite causes. Though... I have met a few I had questions about.

[ After the initial exclamation his voice grew softer and much more dead pan, but the mix-up brought a much needed smile to him as well. ]

Are you going to try to talk me out of this? Remind me that a soul is important and not something to gamble with? If I am actually a demon, or was one in some past life whatever, I'm not sure I even have one.

[ The bit about Alec was all too true. He would hate it. Blame Anthony for his being incarcerated... even if it was for his own good. It would not lead to a good outcome. He leaned back towards magic solving his problem. ]

Not that I'm a Mormon any more, but. [Yotsuyu shrugs at that.] I cannot blame you, there are certainly odd ones in every religion, is there not?

[Her lips thin at that.] Are you a demon, then? If you are, then yes, you may not have one to start, mayhap, but have you done anything truly evil with malice in your heart lately?

[Ugh. Her lips twitch, then. Not a fan of her so-called memories is she, but she knows what she saw. What she felt. She tries to be a good person, but that other...does not. Yotsuyu does try to shake it off, though.]

If you do have a soul, it may be the most precious thing you have, but it is also the most intrinsically yours. It has value, of course, but I've always thought it was fair tied up with your mind and your heart--and if you follow the latter, who am I to stop you?

A few months ago that would have been a really easy question. No, I'm human, born in the most boring place in all England! The most malicious thing I've done is lost my temper and broke my old phone...

That doesn't sound very demonic.

[ He frowned and set that evil book back onto the shelf, waffling on the entire idea. ]

But then there was that memory where I was nearly called a nice demon. Maybe they aren't as evil as everyone thinks?

Not at all, it only sounds frustrated, to my ears. You have Alec as a cousin, if I heard correctly. That sounds as if you've license for frustration. As for myself, you may surmise that I was born out west. Near the Nevada border. [At which she chuckles, if a bit dryly.]

Maybe if you were a demon in another life, you were a nice demon? That's what I'd suggest.

[Not that she's going to mention a single thing about what memories she has, if any.]

Yeeeaa...

[ This he agreed with the largest sigh ever. ]

Frustrated is definitely the word for it. Also pissed. We go through all this trouble to save his life only for him to risk it again by being pigheaded and stupid!

[ No reason to sugar coat that at all! Fortunately there was another topic he could bounce to before that turned into an epic rant. ]

Nevada? I'd like to get out that way some time. I know it's cliche but I do fancy a trip to Vegas. It sounds like a fun town.

[Oh, of course he is. Yotsuyu's lips thinned at that--but again, she reminds herself that this isn't her circus and Alec Crowley is not her problem. But then Anthony makes it easy on her, too, by changing the subject.]

Vegas? It has its moments, so long as you aren't employed there. If you work there, it tends to be a bit exhausting, and tedious as well.

[Which is spoken precisely like someone with experience.]

[ She was ever so lucky to have family that was more reasonable. ]

It's that true of any place? There are some days where I've considered just walking away from the Gardens and never looking back.

You worked out there?

[ He couldn't resist himself as a touch of that old wicked nature usually left behind in memories reasserted itself. ]

Office staff or showgirl?

Wait staff. Though some of the outfits they thought were appropriate may as well have been on a showgirl! I brought drinks from the bar, mostly.

[And really, that had been bad enough.] Oh, you're the gentlemen from the Garden? Elliott has spoken of you, he's been thinking of asking for a job there.

[Though considering how many pots her son had bubbling, Yotsuyu wouldn't be surprised if her boy forgot something.]

I prefer being in real estate, these days, myself, even if I'm my boss' 'office dragon.'

[She laughed at that, though!]

I've seen the outfits the waitresses have to wear! The waiters too... They have to be flash to match the tone of the club. It's why I always ended up wearing one of those penguin suits when I was playing the piano bars.

[ One had to look as posh as the place they worked in. ]

Elliott is a good kid, maybe too good. Doesn't he ever get into any trouble?

[ He smiles at the lady's laugh. ]

Being the Office Dragon is a compliment!

Penguin suits? Oh, a tuxedo? [It took a moment--it's been literal years since Yotsuyu heard someone refer to a tux as a penguin suit.]

He does, though it's rare. I tried to teach him well, and to keep him away from mistakes I'd made in my ill-spent youth!

[She could tell stories, but she's not sure she really wants to, Yotsuyu is not.]

I like to think so--it is why I'm kept around, of course. One of them, at least. [She is aware that she's a pretty face, as well, and that such a thing doesn't hurt business, at the very least. But there's a brain behind that pretty face, too...]

So. Might there be other things you might need help with? [To, perhaps, get back to the proper topic.]

I can't see you as a demon, though...

[ Tuxedos were dated, the term he'd used to describe them was dated... was it really such a weird thing to call them? Ugh. Maybe he was getting old! ]

Couldn't hurt to him to get into a little bit of trouble, go out have a few adventures, get some scraped knees. He's just too sweet! Boy that age should be out getting into some mischief.

[ Says the guy who at that age was all about mischief. Some would say it was a trait he had never grown out of!

As for further help... Anthony mulled that over in his mind but eventually shook the idea away.]

Nah, just helping with that Alec apartment situation would be enough. It would be a weight off my mind if we could get that place up to code.

Thanks for the offer. I really wouldn't have known where to start with that.

[Would reply but probably best to give Anthony some room.]

[ Or tell him which candle you think he might be. He's leaning towards red, but black is a classic demon color. ]

[Don't pout at me, you wily serpent! I have Alec trying to commit death by magic and you're going to get yourself killed trying it too! Are you trying to compete with each other?!]

For me, cream candles, baked goods in offering, and a nice sandalwood. A dusty, dull sort of classic scent.

For you, a deep red, darker than your hair, like the color of roses that are nearly black in their red. It is tempting to suggest a spice, but I think you're rather something woodsy for the incense, but fresh, like greenery. Or maybe rain.

[ Who else am I going to pout at?
But, that is often the way things end up between him and Alec. On some level there is always that sense of competition.

Here he was, supposed to be mad, and yet there his heart was fluttering away and growing ever warmer from the sound of that soft and familiar voice. Baked goods and sandalwood... that seemed to fit Aziraphale perfectly. Anthony still pouted but he reached out to collect a few of the suggested dark red candles and nipped out to commandeer a cream colored one as well. The red was never truly complete without the cream. ]

You've given this a lot of thought.

[Because he spent far too long just trying to say anything to you.]

Well. I suppose one must, if they intend to do it right.

Although I think the candles seem like a great deal of work. One could just ring up the demon and summon him that way, couldn't they?

Some could...

[ Aziraphale had his number after all. ]

It's a bit difficult to ring yourself up though. Dear past self, trying to evoke you... whats your number?

Why do you need to invoke him? There's no need to speed this along just to get powers. What do you need powers for?

Is this about Alec's request?

One sec.

[ He hangs up, rather abruptly... but a minute later he has called back on a private line. Some things were just better said without an audience. ]

I almost lost him, Angel. He was that close to dying after that heart-attack and he just doesn't care... He's ready to throw his life away to prove how right he is!

It sounds cliche, but I would sell my soul to save him. He's family.

Anthony....

I fear he feels the same. I think this is his way of selling his soul to save you from the Bureau.

If you are determined to do this, I'll help you, if you'd like help. But just like with Alec, I want to take precautions. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.

There's nothing to save me from. I'm not involved with the Bureau. I only get those creepy visits like everyone else. The last one was much like the first, barely a conversation at all.

[ Which left him puzzling over whatever might have sent Alec off on this mad quest, before he was reminded he was on a mad quest of his own and the weight of that small grouping of candles began to feel very heavy in his hands indeed. Maybe it was dangerous and like swimming you needed a spotter just in case things went wrong. ]

You're not going to lose me. I was mad when I thought you were keeping important secrets from me... I couldn't forget about you.

What sort of precautions? Do they make magic circle training wheels?

No, I suspect they don't have training wheels. Nevertheless, I'll find ...something. I'm sure there is something. There must be.

The trouble is, we are all involved with the Bureau from Alec's point of view. I think he's been trying to save us from belief in the 'memories' since he's become involved with this. I know it has felt like that to me, at least. ...Bit like the opposite of the serpent, really. The anti-temptation: no, this is not for you, this is not real, don't bite into it.

He's trying to find proof of that, I imagine.

I'm sorry, though, for not telling you straight away. I thought I could help him.

Yea well... Don't go worrying over it too much. I might be a lost cause. Demons are generally.

And I certainly don't think anyone can save us from these memories. Not even Alec. He's mixed up in all this too. Besides these memories are part of us now. They can't be forgotten or erased, I wouldn't even want them to be.

[ He shrugged and looked to the screen, feeling the stirrings of some half-remembered song about pale blue eyes. ]

They led me to you.

I don't believe there's such a thing as lost causes. Even among the Damned.

[He fears the memories could be erased. Obviously if they were actually memories, they had been erased before. There was no telling for sure.]

Oh, Anthony... For a demon, you're really terribly romantic.

Whatever powers you find yourself with, no matter how ...occult, I want you to remember I love you, and I intend to keep loving you. So please...be careful. Stay far away from Holy Water.

[ There were lost causes and Anthony was very much beginning to believe he was one of them but that was comforting, knowing that Fell was there looking out for him. Calling him romantic while proclaiming his love... oh stop! You were too much, angel. ]

I'm not sure if that's him or me. Well, the terrible part is probably him... Demon and all.

[ He glanced aside, taking in the candles that would lead to his destiny or into his slow decent into madness. ]

I've been thinking about that, Holy Water. Might not be a terrible thing to keep around. We have no idea why I even wanted the stuff, maybe it was as a safety measure... to use on myself if I got out of hand. If you knew that's what I wanted it for it could explain why you were so worried about it.

I could probably get some from the Father, just for insurance...

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Video - Delving into the dark arts

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