tramitem_net | come hither, together we will slither

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come hither, together we will slither

[Video]

[A small (less than 2 feet long), caramel brownish snake with an upturned snout and round pupil eyes appears entirely too close to the screen. It scents the air with its tongue, tips its head slightly as if curious. Must be terribly hard for a snake to use a mobile. Even a smart snake such as this one.* No thumbs.]

[Mr. Fell's voice chirps happily, proudly to himself from across the room, vaguely winded:]

There we go! I think that's a marvelous spot, don't you? Your own little nook all to yourself, a nice bit of heat to keep you snug, and I think you'll like the view--prime real estate really, and that painting has such lovely colors, ...

Do snakes see colors? [Fell ponders that a minute.] What are you doing? No, no. That's not yours. First you scare me half to death, and now you act like you own the place--

[As he comes into view and picks up the phone, the little snake refuses to release it, twisting and turning and then abruptly, dramatically playing dead, tongue lolling out of its mouth and all. He pokes and the snake throws itself into another over-dramatic theatrical showing of 'Leave me, I'm dead!' without relinquishing the phone. Fell shakes his head.]

You're an absolute terror. I shan't reward your bad behavior just because you throw a fit.

[The lolled tongue goes 'pffft'. Aziraphale leaves the snake to the phone.] Fine. You keep your ill-gotten gains, you fiend. See if I care.

[The video terminates as the snake finally manages to open the contacts...maybe places a few calls.]

[[* the snake in question is a wizard's familiar.]]

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Devil's food is good.

[ A favorite? Probably not but it was a decadent one.

The snake was regarded again. The phone call was a fluke though... had to be. Snakes can't dial numbers on purpose. This was like a butt dial, he had just managed to slither over the right keys. ]

So... he's like a rabbit? You pull him out of a hat during kid's magic shows?

Devil's food is divine. Don't tempt me.

[He wiggles uneasily.]

No. I mean, I guess I could. Actually, that sounds kind of adorable.

But no.

He's supposed to help with actual magic. The sort of thing that got people burned at stakes or sent to magical British boarding schools.

[ What was adorable was that nervous wiggle. ]

Magical boarding school... What like that Worst Witch series?

Never heard of those being a real thing outside of TV and movies. And I guess...

[ He waggled his fingers at the screen to mean Aziraphale's memories. ]

Did he come with a spell book and a wand?

Oh, I remember those books! What a trip down memory lane. Didn't they make a movie? With Tim Curry? I think they did.

But yes, something like that. Only I don't think I was a child. Actually, in my... well, you know-- It's all been very limited, but I haven't yet had a single one where I felt as if I was younger than an adult.

Sadly, no. No broom either. Nor an appropriately pointed hat. [A playfully put-upon sigh.] It's awful, Anthony. I'm horribly bereft of resources. I'll have to make a trip to whatever passes for fantasy Costco and stock up; get myself a hefty stock of candles and some Eye of Newt... or whatever young wizards are using these days. Or maybe I'll go in for a farmer's market: smaller quantity, better quality.

They did! Also two TV series. I watched the old one growing up and the new one's good too. Has that little Northern girl from Game of Thrones as the lead.

[ Watch out Aziraphale or he will be tempted to geek out on you over TV and Movies. He might have done it now only the thought of searching for Eye of Newt at a Farmer's Market was so jarring. ]

You're serious? You actually think you are a wizard now because of a few memories and a pet snake?

And you were worried about me going off the deep end... What ever happened to that, 'the past doesn't matter, it's the now that's important' business?

I don't think I've ever actually seen that show. Game of Thrones, I mean. Or the others.

[He laughs.]

I was joking. And anyway, I wasn't going to toss a poor helpless snake out in the middle of Manhattan. Real memories or not, he deserves a home, same as any other.

Besides. I tried doing the whole magic thing a little earlier this month and got nothing for it. I took it very seriously; got that out of my system. I'm sure your cousin would be appalled.

I don't think you'd like it. The kids shows maybe... they aren't anywhere near as brutal.

[ It was kind, not just chucking the snake outside or handing it over to a rescue of some sort. Anthony found himself impressed as most New Yorkers he knew would not have been so quick to accept a pet snake. ]

Shame really, about the magic. It might have been nice if that part were real. You could have anything you wanted with just a...

[ Anthony did a few 'magical gestures' which looked a bit like more sedate jazz hands. ]

...few wiggles of your fingers.

But, no... it's good. You haven't lost your mind. What... what sort of magic did you try?

I should hope not. They're for children!

[It wasn't kind. It was foolish to take in the snake. Now he had an annoying little creature to look after and feed, and he could barely keep a plant alive.]

Mm, yes. Though I'd probably squander my powers on frivolous little things: reheating my cocoa or cleaning my apartment...nothing grand like wealth or fame. It'd be utterly wasted on me, sadly.

[The uncomfortable wiggle is back.]

I really don't know what I was thinking, trying it at all. It could have done anything--might even have been dangerous. It was entirely reckless of me, I realize, but I just had to try it for curiosity's sake.

But! It didn't work, so we won't ever know, hm? All's well.

That's what I would do. Wish up a new flat with more space than I need, a flash new car, you could forget me going to work everyday. It would be more of a hobby. I think most people would do things like that. You can't really expect it to be like the movies, everyone using their powers to save the world.

[ Anthony frowned faintly and inclined his head to one side. He was noticing that Aziraphale did that a lot, wriggle around like he had ants loose in his pants leg, and always when a subject was breached that made him uncomfortable. ]

Magic isn't real though so I don't think it would have been anywhere near as serious as that. What sort of spell, was it the coco thing? Nothing worse than when it goes cold before you've had time to finish it.

Isn't that what one ought to do, though? Great power, great responsibility, or some such wise uncle platitude?

[He looked away, feeling scrutinized. ]

I don't know what the spell was intended to do, really, only that I was apparently fairly obsessed about it in my visions: I must have drawn a variation of that circle hundreds of times judging by the pages and pages of notes I had. I wouldn't have tried to replicate it here if it didn't seem so incredibly important to me.

Which is...dangerous. And absolutely--I mean, absolutely--why we have to be careful not to be caught up in this whole thing, Anthony. What if it somehow worked?

People aren't like that... We're just people, not saints.

[ He was indeed being scrutinized, but thankfully Aziraphale wasn't being given the same sort of look one might give a truly crazy person. ]

The only danger would be if I walked into your place and found all the walls covered in those circles. Magic, real magic, doesn't exist. It's all tricks, slight of hand and mirrors.

We still should ...try to be good.

[He glares at the camera.]

Magic isn't real, says the man who thought he could be Satan.

Well... I was wrong about that, wasn't I?

[ Still that jab made him stop to check, to hold that little golden cross necklace in his hand just to make sure he could. ]

I haven't started breathing fire or craving souls for breakfast, I'm not sure why you would start... doing whatever it is magic circles do...

[ooc: holy moly I thought I replied to this. I know I wrote it, so I can only assume I fell asleep and it got lost forever on my phone.]

Yes, you were.

[You were wrong. You're not Satan, he thinks. And don't you forget that. He sees that little verification Anthony does, and wonders how many times his friend has second-guessed his own motivations and had to perform that exact check since he first introduced the idea.]

And I don't know. I didn't want to just write it off without trying, at least a little for the sake of... You have no idea, Anthony. It was so very, very important to that version of me that I perfect the spell. I don't know why I was so invested in its success; it didn't feel like I was working to a deadline, but I was like a man possessed. I wanted something badly enough I was willing to go to great lengths to bring it about.

It's ...terrifying, in retrospect, just how overwhelming these emotions are.

[OOC: No problem. That is really, really, adorable. ^^ ]

[ Too many times. It had become almost a ritual in itself whenever he was uncertain and especially after he had another one of those dreams. ]

If its that important... You have thought of taking the circle drawing down to one of those occult shops? Some one down there might be able to tell you more about the symbol and what it's meant to do. It might ease your mind when you discover its a calming circle or something simple like that.

[ooc: nooo it's dumb]

I haven't. I...hadn't thought of that. Thank you. I went to the library, because that seemed like a logical course of action, of course, but then I ended up talking to this nice young lady and buying cupcakes instead--and as far as research it was all just a wash anyway because all I learned was rubbish about medieval alchemy and demonology and the properties of various herbs and crystals. Even the words didn't seem to be Latin!

[He runs a hand through his fluff of hair in distress.]

Honestly, and I don't envy him his vision at all, but your cousin seems to be the only one with any kind of normalcy in this whole godforsaken mess.

[ OOC: Nooo, its just sleepy ]

No problem. I figure who would know magic better than some one trying to practice it? Now, not a joke store where they sell disappearing penny boxes with the hidden compartment, you have to find one of those spooky occult places.

[ Huh, he did have fluffy hair, didn't he? Too bad the poor guy was so distressed. ]

Alec has only had the one memory... And I'm not so sure that was what I would call 'normal' either. More like nightmare fuel, why have all of these been nightmare fuel?

I don't really like spooky, but I suppose I must.

[Alright, fair. Crowley did have to witness finding a dead body. Still. At least that was not space wars and slavery or dragons and magical trees or magic and Biblical references. So... on second thought, the most normal one was probably the girl who remembered being a rock star.]

At least the crepes-- oh, no wait, there was that part about the Reign of Terror. They're all, as you say, nightmare fuel. Anthony, I don't--

...Have you told Grace anything about it yet?

Edited 2020-04-28 03:17 (UTC)

[ He nearly winced at the mention of Grace, probably outing himself even before he actually answered in a much softer conspiratorial voice so she wouldn't overhear.]

How can I? She would never understand any of this. I haven't told anyone but Alec. Have you?

No. Who was I to tell? Well, I did sort of start to tell a friend about the whole Bureau business and everything--I don't know what came over me. But she didn't believe me, so that was all for naught.

But Grace is your girlfriend. You love her. Crowley said you had been together for a while, and I don't know if you should be keeping secrets from her. She might begin to suspect something else.

Something else!

[ So much for keeping quiet. Anthony raised his voice in dramatic fashion as that dart hit a little too close to a hidden truth. His feelings had been awfully fond when that memory's dinner date had been offered. ]

That's nothing you need to worry about! Just... look after your snake!

[I am! I'm looking after you, aren't I? and where did that thought come from, please make it go away.]

I am your friend, Anthony. But, yes, if you don't want me to be concerned about you damaging your relationships, fine. I won't.

Have a good evening.

I don't! I can handle my own shit without your input!

[ When it was personal... and difficult... and something even he didn't have a handle on... ]

Good evening! Good luck with your circle.

Well, good luck with your-- with handling your shit!

[ Anthony's lip curled into a partial snarl as he shook his head. What was he to say to that, thanks? He just ended the call to wallow in the guilt of having started the argument in the first place. ]

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