[video] just enough of a bastard

[temptationaccomplished]

[Fell looks into the camera (he's obviously holding the phone) and takes a sip from the red in his bulbous wine glass.]

Well, this has been the first and absolutely last day of business for the Crowley Cousin Mover Company.

[He turns the camera around and you get a view of his studio apartment, in all its jewel-toned, eclectic vintage charm. If you've been to his flat, or had enough footage from a past video, you'll see he's acquired a new (to him, it's vintage of course), wooden desk. With the plethora of drawers, it looks exceedingly heavy, but it's been placed expertly into his crowded living space.

The Crowley Cousins in question, Alec and Anthony, are both obviously nursing sore muscles. Alec is laying on Aziraphale's vintage leather sofa. Anthony has an ice pack on his foot.]

Oh, I haven't broken you, have I? It's just a desk. Those strapping young men I hired made it look positively easy.

Comments

[temptationaccomplished]

He doesn't even consider me a friend, so I wouldn't take it to heart.

Thank you, though. Even if he doesn't, I appreciate it at least. I'm a little out of my element with injuries, I'm afraid.

[scotch_egg]

'm fine.

[scotch_egg]

Man has to have some fun. [he will be as obstinate as he bloody well likes if people try to set him up]

[phdmotherfucker]

He doesn't even consider himself a friend.

I was an athlete for years, so I know a lot of the tricks. If you don't have a heat pack, you can put a damp washcloth in a freezer back or fill a sock about halfway with uncooked rice or oatmeal and tie it closed, then pop it in the microwave.

[temptationaccomplished]

That's true.

Clever. [He goes to fuss around in his little kitchen.] What sport did you play, if you don't mind me asking?

[phdmotherfucker]

Gymnastics. Got a scholarship for it and everything.

[temptationaccomplished]

Goodness. [Alec, you missed out.] Gymnastics always looked so ...terrifying.

What are you doing now?

[phdmotherfucker]

You think gymnastics looks terrifying? It's not even full contact. It's literally no contact.

I'm in psychiatric research. What about you?

[serpentinthegarden]

When! When are you out there EVER having any fun?

Cause the only time I ever see it is when you are with family. Usually when you are torturing family.

Which as a demon I can kind of understand...

[ His foot twinged and Crowley hissed some sort of curse word under his breath. ]

But there is so much to the world! Why limit yourself?

[scotch_egg]

You're too much fun.

[he refuses to answer any of that, only smirking as he buries his head in his arms]

Beware the Kettle Man.

[temptationaccomplished]

You're flipping through the air! I have seen the way those daredevils launch themselves off the parallels bars. They have a lot of faith in physics working in their favor.

Oh. The Different must make for a unique case study.

I'm an art restorer.

[scotch_egg]

Stop helping.

[serpentinthegarden]

Fuck you!

[ Did you really expect any other response to that??

In fact he might have looked for something to throw at Alec if doing so mightn't have upset the delicate balance between frozen peas and injured foot.]

[temptationaccomplished]

What are you two doing? Do I have to separate you?

[phdmotherfucker]

You don't tell me what to do.

[serpentinthegarden]

Or spill some wine on a stubborn ass...

[ He would be satisfied with that. ]

[phdmotherfucker]

The very first thing we learn is how to take a fall, and there are padded mats. It's not without risk, but it's not scary either.

Oh, I'm not doing a study on that. For one thing, I doubt the Bureau would allow outside research.

So you work with museums and stuff? That's cool. [ That's boring, but she's being nice. ]

[scotch_egg]

There's plenty of whine already.

[temptationaccomplished]

I was going to say it'd be a waste of a good wine, but after that, I am reconsidering.

[temptationaccomplished]

[Not scary, right. If you say so.]

I'm sure you're right.

I do, and I fully understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea. But I find the work fascinating and it's unfortunately expanded my personal collection a bit beyond what fits into my flat.

Sometimes it's simply tedious, but sometimes it's a bit like playing archeologist, without all that sand and sun. Like touching history.

[scotch_egg]

Stay away from my arse.

[scotch_egg]

[he mutters something unintelligible and doesn't argue but his ears are red]

[phdmotherfucker]

Oh, that's cute. You're cute.

[phdmotherfucker]

You make it sound poetic.

[scotch_egg]

Piss off!