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[neverjedi]

I have quite a few old scars on my back.

The problem being that they weren't there yesterday.

This is not great news.

[Understatement much? At least his freak out is staying internal. Mostly. So far.]

Comments

[consortofalderaan]

Bail smiled, taking another drink- now he was amused. He was trying to relax also- if Ben was directing the conversation, then Bail was more comfortable with where it led.

"Did you ask me on a date, or did I catch you taking me on a date?"

[neverjedi]

"Always maintain plausible deniability of anyone not dressed from head to toe in rainbows in a gay club." He grinned, just a little tiredly. "You definitely caught me asking you on a date. Wanna do it again sometime?"

The order might be a little off, but hey.

[consortofalderaan]

"Yes," Bail said, no hesitation. "I want to. I pick this time."

[neverjedi]

"Absolutely," he agreed. He was honestly a little relieved at the moment - he did not have normal amounts of bandwidth to make big plans, "but I want to at least know how I should be dressed a day in advance, please."

[consortofalderaan]

Bail moved his hand in Ben's, the tips of his fingers moving against the tips of Ben's.

"I'm not one for big surprises- mostly because that takes a lot of wit to pull off, which I don't have. I'm thinking pizza. Somewhere casual. So we can talk... like we're doing now." Maybe touching, too, later in the evening.

[neverjedi]

That was nice and Ben flexed his fingers so he was returning the light touch but also so there was more of his hand available to be touched. "I promise to show up to this one wearing pants with a zipper." He was dryly amused and a little frustrated at himself. He really did not continually dress down. "Pizza sounds fantastic, actually, especially if you take me somewhere you know and like." Talking and touching were good too. He was enjoying them now. "Why do you think you don't have wit?"

[consortofalderaan]

Bail couldn't tell if Ben was purposefully dropping innuendo all over the place. It just made him want to kiss Ben more- but he deliberately held himself back, to let Ben lead.

"I know a few great pizza places."

He focused on their fingers for a moment before pointing out, "witty enough to carry of surprises- at least big ones."

[neverjedi]

Ben would drop innuendo on purpose and that particular bit was one he would enjoy-

but it hadn't been intentional, this time.

"There's something really great about meeting you the first time outside a meeting at a really healthy place and our dates being much more casual and... guilty pleasure food." Just absent observation. "Ok. What kind of wit does it take to carry off big surprises that you lack?"

[consortofalderaan]

"Eating kale on a date is hardly what I call romantic," Bail pointed out.

Bail liked this simple touch of Ben's fingers. Sometimes, the simplest things are the most impactful.

"To pull off a big surprise, you have to know everything about the other person, all their likes, dislikes, their general mood, their current mood. If you pull it off, and the other person enjoys it, that's wonderful. But the potential for failure is high, and it can range from mild disappointment to actually harming the other person. I much prefer communication than leaving everything to luck and chance."

[neverjedi]

"I have some very mixed feelings about romance," Ben admitted, openly and without a single bit of hesitation. He really was pretty relaxed, especially within the context of the day they had had.

He glanced up at Bail at the rest, though. "That isn't a lack of wit. That's the presence of caution, and care, and respect, and deliberateness." There was a difference, he thought.

[consortofalderaan]

If Ben wanted to call it presence of caution and care, Bail didn't object.

Besides, he was more interested in something else.

"What are your feelings about romance?"

[neverjedi]

"That it's a mixed bag." He smiled, slightly. "When you hear romance, what most people think of is... candlelit diners, moonlight walks on a beach, or rose petal strewn paths. The... showmanship. I am not going to pretend that I am above enjoying a good show, especially if it's a reflection of feeling." What with his love of performing and all, that's probably pretty damn clear. "It's fun sometimes, but it isn't substance. When the show replaces the substance, all you have is a very pretty house of cards."

[consortofalderaan]

"Is that what you think romance is?" Bail asked. He was curious, not argumentative, it was good to know what Ben thought.

[neverjedi]

He had to mull that question over longer than he had the previous one and was silent for a little bit. "I'm not really sure I think romance is anything particular, to be honest. Just caring about someone and actions reflecting it, within the context of a... romantic relationship and if you ask me to define that one I'm going to be forced to resort to googling dictionary definitions. Possibly dictionary definitions of art, while I'm at it." That last bit was a soft, gentle, tease.

[consortofalderaan]

The "Hmmm," Bail said revealed his amusement. Part of him was tempted to ask what Ben considered this, what they were doing right now. But maybe he'd ask that later.

"But I think you should define romantic relationship. I want to hear you're take on it.

[neverjedi]

He groaned deeply and exaggeratedly, rolled onto his hip to get his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it and asked google for a definition.

From there he pulled up the wiki link, scanned the pages and pages of theories and psychology and actually groaned again, this time less playfully.

" I am not reading all of that, so you're getting my thoughts. It's an intimate relationship that isn't familial and for me includes sexual attraction and some level of commitment or desire for commitment."

[consortofalderaan]

Despite how the evening started, this was nice. And Bail was enjoying himself. He liked playfully making Ben squirm just a little bit.

"Is that what you're looking for?" Bail asked.

[neverjedi]

"In life? Generally, yes. From dating? I think dating is more a... getting to know you and extended period of negotiation." He was more comfortable with this talk than he would have expected. More confident and willing to just put himself out there.

[consortofalderaan]

"What are you negotiating?" Bail asked with a raised eyebrow.

[neverjedi]

He raised both of his eyebrows in return. "Sharing a life. Even at early stages it's ... a relationship and that's always give and take and back and forth. With a new person it's all unknowns, from sex to where you're eating to who's planning the date or paying for it."

[consortofalderaan]

"We seem to have planning dates and where to eat and pay covered," Bail said. But did he skip over one of the things Ben had listed?

[neverjedi]

"For now." He smiled, warm and pretty comfortable considering the day he'd had. "Though it still leaves sex. ...How vanilla are you?" There was no wrong answer, it was a starting place.

[consortofalderaan]

Bail was idly thinking about licking Ben's fingers and to keep that just a thought (for now) he threaded their hands together.

"You want to know what kinks I'm into?" Bail rephrased the question. "Outside the incorporation of very mild pain, I really haven't explored any kinks in a practical way. Academically, there isn't anything I haven't studied. That isn't a ... weird brag, I just know a lot from studying psychology, I can't not know."

CW: Sex/Kink talk starting here-ish.

[neverjedi]

"I mean, I am interested, but right now the question is more whether you're open to the idea and much more importantly whether your academic understanding involves a belief that it can be healthy or if it is necessarily a maladaptive coping mechanism."

Look, it was not a thing people didn't have opinions about, even professionals who had studied psychology in general.

Re: CW: Sex/Kink talk starting here-ish.

[consortofalderaan]

At this point, it really became clear to Bail that Ben was cautiously revealing a part of himself that was quite vulnerable. Which was surprising for how the evening started. Bail appreciated Ben's willingness to show him this.

"As a general rule, I believe people can turn anything into a maladaptive coping mechanism. Like everything people do, that is dependent on the person and their individual circumstances. Kink isn't inherently any less healthy than other lifestyle choices. I think when practice ethically and consensually, kink is healthy. And I can't say anything about whether or not it's fun, because I haven't personally tried much, as I just said, but from what I can tell outside looking in, it can absolutely be enjoyable and desirable."