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He went with the tug and settled down against Bail, relaxed and comfortable after a moment. "I owe you an apology. I wasn't taking your anxiety about the... phaser." Blaster, his mind supplies, "nearly seriously enough and then didn't exactly handle being called out on that well. I'm sorry."

"Ben..." Bail started, instinctually wanting to help smooth this over, but he stopped himself to say first, "Thank you."

But he did also feel he should add, "I could have explained my reasons... I don't want to do anything to harm my daughter. That's who I instantly thought about the moment I saw the thing."

"And it shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to realize that." He appreciates the apology being... accepted, though he's faintly confused at being thanked for it. It just needed to be said. Especially since he got defensive from being wrong to begin with.

"It's okay," Bail said. "It's not as if knowing I have a daughter inherently imbues you with my perspective." He smiled. "If only gaining all the right knowledge about how to deal with children came to each of us that easy. But, then, I wouldn't have much of a job."

Especially, he thinks but does not say, when his daughter is something he knows about, respects, and is aware of-

but is very much an ideal rather than a person to him. Which is fine and as it should be for now but it does require him consciously remember sometimes.

"You'd still have the people who know and don't care, I suppose, and the results of them but that sounds... less rewarding."

As long as Bail could tell that Ben was trying, he was okay with the effort Ben made. He knew Ben was a good person, at heart and in his actions. One misfired conversation was not a blight on his opinion of the man. Bail still wanted to... to do this, what they were doing right now, actually. Among other things, but this was really nice.

"It would be less rewarding. I would need to find something more rewarding, like your profession. Maybe you need to teach me how to perform on ice."

"We still haven't gone skating together," he realizes, but that's followed quickly by a slight headshake - no loss of his smile, though: "I don't think they're the same kind of rewarding." He loves what he does, but it's not... profound.

“It doesn’t need to be the same,” Bail said, mentally marking another tick in the column of Ben devaluing himself. Bail wasn’t here to change Ben, but maybe someday he could convince him to see how wonderful Bail saw him.

“And I would very much like to go skating with you.”

"Then let's plan it. Since we're so deep into summer Aviator's probably our best bet, but that just means we can use the good sound system. Do you need skates or do you have your own?" He was happy about this plan. He wanted to skate with Bail, a lot. Sharing what he loved with people he cared about was a... big thing for him.

"You're asking me, a born and bred New Yorker, if I don't have my own pair of skates and need them?" Bail asked, feigning slight outrage.

He gives Bail a flat, but amused, look. "We rent a lot of skates to people who are born and bred in New York."

"Alright," Bail said. "That is fair- I have my own pair of skates. Just name the time, and I will show up and skate with you. Just don't expect anything fancy from me."

"Do you want to learn something fancy or just to go fast with me?" Either of those is fine. He just really, really, wants to share his love of skating with someone he cares a lot about.

"Let's start with going fast," Bail said, bring a hand up to Ben's neck and leaned over for kiss.

"I'm learning a lot from you. I need to think of something to teach you."

He returns the kiss, softly and easily and then laughed. "I don't think learning from me means you have to teach me, but I'm learning things too. It's just the nature of relationships, right?"

Bail wanted to deepen that kiss the moment Ben's mouth touched his, but he restrained himself. As much as he enjoyed their physical relationship, he was just as interested in these moments. Even if he could easily be swept away in the physical.

"Speaking of learning, I think I'm ready to start learning all the things you like about BDSM."

He went a little 'deer in the headlights' startled between the loss of the kiss and the question.

Not that he minded, just - not prepared.

"...Can you be more specific?"

Okay, it seemed to flow naturally for Bail, but ya, from another angle that might have been sudden.

"There is only so much I can learn from reading- ethics, morals, how to establish boundaries. But the physical aspects need hands on learning. You liked to be tied up, I need to learn how to tie you up. How to use the equipment, your levels of comfort. If you like pain, I need to learn how you like it applied. And we should talk about boundries again."

"Okay. Do you want to start with the boundaries talk again, because at least the bondage stuff is pretty straight forward. The rest is going to be a steeper learning curve." If Bail wanted to do this, still, but Ben? Assumed that it wouldn't be coming up again, unprompted by him, if Bail wasn't seriously interested.

"We can start there, again." And yes, Bail was still very much interested.

"You said you don't like breath-play, and you hate being sticky. I'm not interested in the former, and I will do everything in my power to avoid the latter. What else are hard no's for you?"

"Sticky with blood and come in the short term don't bother me, just mean I'll need a shower. I absolutely cannot stand stuff like food or paint being left on me. Marks that can't be covered by long sleeves and long pants. I like pain - I don't like scenarios that set me up to fail so that pain can be construed as punishment. I absolutely cannot handle humiliation. Gags I'm willing to entertain later, but not this early."

Well, Bail had asked. "What are yours, as of now, understanding they may change?"

Edited 2020-07-30 18:22 (UTC)

Bail had asked, and while that was a list, he wasn’t overwhelmed. He decided to take it one piece at a time.

“I’m not interested in humiliating you.” That was a boundary he could respect without trying. “I know I’m not interested in edge-play. I will always want a safe word and limits.”

“You mentioned blood, can you elaborate more on that- do you want to be cut, whipped?”

He starts to just answer the question as asked, and then realized there is an easier way. So he pulls out his phone and pulls up a spreadsheet and passes the phone to Bail.

"This is probably a better starting point."

After Ben’s spreadsheet show and tell for meditation practices, Bail should have expected another spreadsheet. It still takes him be surprise, and he can’t help smiling at Ben and his drive for color coded organizational systems.

He started scrolling through the list.

“How about I comment when I don’t agree or don’t understand something? Or do you want my verbal response for everything?”

He returned the smile, this time a little amused and indulgent himself. "How about you comment on things you don't understand, or are interested in." Otherwise they'd be here for... a while, for stuff he was more than willing to leave off the table.

Which in truth was everything, at least as long as basics were on it, and they clearly were.

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BDSM discussion

Re: BDSM discussion

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Re: BDSM discussion

Re: BDSM discussion