Text - OTA

[not_as_i_do]

Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a day of work and forget all of this. You have to be able to ... to put it away somewhere, just to focus on what needs doing.

But then some strange little random thing will remind me, and it all comes crashing back. Today, it was a young man's eyes, on the subway home. They were so blue, and I thought, 'my son has eyes like that'. But I don't have a son. Not here. But I do in the memories.

I know I should probably save these things for group, but ... somehow it's easier putting them here in writing. I feel like ... it should still all be secret. Like I should be used to keeping secrets.

I've never been secretive in my life.

Does anyone else have moments like this?

Comments

[not_as_i_do]

Almost like one of you reading a book from the beginning and the other reading it from the end, is it?

:-/

[there's no suitable emoji for the little puff of a sigh he just made, but that will have to suffice]

How long have you both known you're connected to each other?

[traceofeffort]

Ugh, don't remind me about that. It ended pretty well, but it was a little touch and go for me, for a while there. She wasn't any help to me on that side, that's for sure!

I'll make sure you get it! I'm still messing with it a little bit, but it's largely done. I was starting work on another, but... I might push that one off for a bit. It's going to drag up some bad memories from this side, for a while.

[howkickassiam]

[ He laughs heartily before he responds. The idea that someone could offend him by asking questions about these things is ridiculous to him. ]

Yeah, been here a while. I don't know of any taboos about asking about the memories, myself. I just share them if someone asks.

Why, you got a specific question?

[darkforcerising]

I lost my right arm in a jet crash.

My memories are a real hoot.

[neverjedi]

A few months, I think? More than three, less than six. Like I said, it's been strange-

but it's not bad.

[not_as_i_do]

Touch and go? You didn't get hurt at all out there, did you?

[not_as_i_do]

I'm not really sure. I've only had the one so far. How long was it before you started getting more?

[not_as_i_do]

A jet crash, goodness. That's a terrible amount of rehab. Are you doing alright?

[he's a doctor, he feels he needs to ask on sheer principle. the boy does sound like he's not keen on discussing his memories, though, so he'll let that lie]

[not_as_i_do]

I'd suspect there's some measure of comfort in knowing someone can relate to the things you're remembering, yeah. ... My name's Martin, by the way: Martin Whitly.

[consortofalderaan]

That does seem to be the common terminology. Other self, memories of another life.

My other self seems to be the same temperment, from the little I've seen. I suppose that could change, but among the few memories I've received I watched a dictactor overthrow a legitimate government, and I was quite measured in my response.

Does it bother you that your other self is more emotional?

[darkforcerising]

Physically? Unless Earth figures out how to regrow limbs, I'm as healed as possible.

Mentally? I am a wreck up there.

[not_as_i_do]

Well, you sure sound as though you're caught in the middle of something in those memories. How intriguing.

... I don't think it bothers me. It's a curiosity, an oddity, but not upsetting. I just want to know more. To understand why that ... version of me ... feels as strongly as they do. What sort of differences mark our respective lives.

[not_as_i_do]

I can imagine. I've heard my share of war stories from the family... I'm sorry you had to go through it, but glad you lived, for whatever it's worth.

My name's Martin, by the way. Dr. Martin Whitly.

[traceofeffort]

Not through anything but my own idiocy and the local bad juju. I'll get over it. You couldn't see anything past my dress at the ball anyway, so! No harm done, it's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine.

[darkforcerising]

You can't change the past.

I'm Anakin.

What kind of doctor are you?

[neverjedi]

Hi, Martin. My names Ben Kenobi, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this but I'm glad to meet you.

[not_as_i_do]

[repetition of 'fine' indicates it isn't? but he hasn't known her long, and he doesn't want to pry. he remembers how his niece and nephew were at Lisa's age]

Glad to hear it. ... Do you think you'll go back, since the portal is still there? I'm of two minds ...

[not_as_i_do]

Indeed. Glad to know you, Anakin.

I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon. Bit specialized, but I've done general rotations before as well, when places were understaffed.

[not_as_i_do]

Very much the same to you, Ben. It's a funny thing: I'm meeting far more people over this internet board than I did at my first group session. Was that the case for you, too, when all this started?

[darkforcerising]

You deal with stuff inside the chest, ya?

[consortofalderaan]

Yes. Hopefully more memories will dispell the questions I have.

Are you wondering what part of you is in this past self?

[not_as_i_do]

Chest and throat, yes. Anything related to what helps you breathe and circulate blood. [he says it almost cheerfully, in the cadence of someone who's used that explanation countless times before]

[darkforcerising]

So... blood vessels, too?

[not_as_i_do]

Well, if nothing else, I know we share the same profession, so that's a start. What about you, are you seeing any paralells?

[not_as_i_do]

Oh yes, definitely. You have to be able to work with the vessels to deal with the heart. It'd be like being a gardener and not knowing what to do with a root system. Why do you ask?