tramitem_net | video; introductions

[The video opens up into a small but well decorated home office. Behind Smith is a bookshelf with titles ranging from "To Kill and Mockingbird" and Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." There are photos of Smith with prominent local leaders, and several awards issued to her for services to the community.

There's a space right behind her, in full view of the camera, where someone who didn't build their career on social media optics might hang their degree. Smith regularly uses this home office to live stream town hall meetings and council Q&A's. People want evidence that you're smart, but they don't want you being too obvious about it.

Instead, there's a piece of artwork with her favorite quote on it: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." It's from a poem called The Old Astronomer by Sarah Williams. Her parents gave it to Smith when she first decided to run for local office.

The entire background paints a picture before Smith has to say a word: Competent, but not arrogant. Approachable. Ready to listen, and with resources to offer.]

Hello. [A smile.] My name is Leia Smith -- please feel free to call me Smith. All my friends do. Some of you may have seen me at the support group, or at the wonderful event at Rockaway Beach. Or you may recognize me from my work as District 7's city councilperson. I apologize for not formally introducing myself sooner. As I am sure you are all aware, when one's world view is turned upside down...[She looks off camera for a moment, considering her words.]

It takes you a moment to regroup, doesn't it? [She looks back at the camera. Relaxed, but full of purpose.]

I've had my moment. Now, I'd like to help. Most immediately, I'd like to connect members of this community with additional resources to help navigate the challenges that come with being...[There's a clear measure of distaste, as she echos The Bureau's words.] "Different."

What's happening to us isn't normal. And yet, we live in a society that demands we go on as if it is. There's rent, holding down a job, trying to maintain one's mental health -- many of the daily demands of life become that much more difficult when you're processing a trauma. So if these events have impacted your ability to do any of those things -- please let me know. I will do my best to help.

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[Lisa's somewhat excited to respond to this; that probably shows in her manner, cheery and forward, doing her best not to let the thoughts of what processing a trauma puts in her head. Her head's a complicated place, she's used to that by now.]

It's strange, isn't it? How crazy everything goes, and then how normal it goes back to being. I've had days where I don't want to leave my room, and then days where I feel like I can do anything, and I can trace a lot of it back to all this. I just want... well, no. I don't want things to go back to normal. Not anymore. There are too many things I don't want to lose. But I want to feel comfortable again. That seems to come and go for me, and I'm tired of it. [Lisa suddenly realizes nothing stops this woman from going back and reading the network's post history, and abruptly has. A small fear.]

The beach helped a lot, the other day. That was me playing music that evening, in fact.

[The thought had definitely crossed Smith's mind, to read over the backlog. But it felt like a violation. She's not running for anything, in this community. She's been pulled into it, along with everyone else.

She listens to Lisa, not judging. The girl seems authentic, and that goes a long way in Smith's eyes.]

That's how I recognize you. The music was wonderful. Have you played long?

Mm, something like that? I've been playing country music for years - probably almost half my life by now. That one song in the middle, though... that was the first full run-through in front of people, and I've only been working on it for a couple months, give or take? That's not "my" song. [There's a weird twist to her voice; she's still trying to figure out a shorthand way to express that.] Thanks for the compliment, though - I put more of myself than I expected into that show, so I'm glad I didn't come as across too eager or something. I'm kinda self-conscious about it, honestly. [A hand comes up to play with one of her earrings idly, as she smiles. It doesn't quite reach her eyes, but she's trying.]

What's wrong with being eager?

[She shrugs, and gestures to one of the awards positioned behind her.]

Eager gets things done. I think women are punished for wanting things in a way men aren't. We're called eager, shallow, anything in between. Personally, I'm over it. You like music and you put on a great show. That's something to be proud of.

Ahaha... Well, I can't deny that. Um, thanks. I just kinda let myself go, but it sure seems like it turned out all right. If I can come up with some more material - one way or another - I'd like to put on another show sometimes soon, so I'll keep everyone posted!

But that's not why you're here, honestly. Welcome to our little corner of reality, where everything's topsy-turvy and nobody knows what's going on. I'm happy with my own memories, but I'm not confident anyone else is, most days. I'm a little behind on my usual round of visits to the support meetings - are you holding up all right? I know it took me a bit to adjust. Or, well. I say adjust like I am adjusting well. It's a work in progress.

I'm adjusting as well as anyone can. I think I'm in a better position to do so than most -- I've only had one memory so far, and it was a peaceful one.

Well, that's a decent start, then. Hopefully it stays that way and you can just deal with the disorientation, and not have to also deal with nasty stuff in your head that it feels like you were there for. I have enough problems keeping my fingers from trying to play bass lines on an acoustic guitar! Anyway, I'm no therapist, but I try to help people through things where I can. You... probably have a stronger support network already, but if you need anything I can help with, let me know, okay? Ah, I'm Lisa, by the way.

There's something to be said for a network of people who know what you're going through. That seems to be in short supply.

[She thinks on that, for a moment.]

Although I guess that's a good thing.

Yeah. I wouldn't wish all of this on anyone. I've made precious friends because of all this, but it comes with a lot of hangups. But once you're in... we'll take care of our own, one way or another. At least, that's my view. We're gonna need all the help we can get.

video; introductions

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