Obi-Wan Kenobi (
neverjedi) wrote in
tramitem_net2020-06-01 11:10 am
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(no subject)
I have quite a few old scars on my back.
The problem being that they weren't there yesterday.
This is not great news.
[Understatement much? At least his freak out is staying internal. Mostly. So far.]
The problem being that they weren't there yesterday.
This is not great news.
[Understatement much? At least his freak out is staying internal. Mostly. So far.]
no subject
"You have magically appearing scars on your back- you deserve me managing my own emotions for a night.... It's okay- I promise. I just didn't know how you would take hearing... well, that they are probably from a whip."
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Implying that he was managing Anakin's emotions for Anakin? ...That was exactly what he was doing, wasn't it? Or at least trying to do.
That wasn't something he could do and it was insulting and --
Yeah there was a moment of realization there and he abruptly let it go. It wasn't easy, something from the memories fought the idea, but he sort of forced himself to move past the urge to protect and feeling that he would never be able to... be what Anakin needed.
"It's all right. I'm not looking forward to the memories that accompany the scars, but maybe it'll provide some context. I'm not happy - this is invasive in a way I wasn't prepared for, at all - but it... I'll work through it. And I'm glad you're here and could tell me."
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But he didn't say that to Ben, he'd think about it later.
He wanted to say something that would make this even marginally better, but there wasn't really a way to make this better.
"If you need someone to talk to about those memories when you finally get them, you can talk to me... Those won't be easy memories to get."
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He nodded, though a part of him felt like some of that was a dismissal. He knew he shouldn't take it that way. Trauma was personal, every person handled it their own way and the best thing a friend could do was be patient, help where they were told they could help.
"Do you still want the pictures?" Ben had asked for that, he could do that, at least.
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Maybe because he really, really didn't want to.
"Yeah." He passed the phone back. "Alec took a couple but managed to do a terrible job and overlay a sparkly effect which made it less than useful."
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His expression soured. "Oh... that asshole?" And he scoffed.
He hit the camera button. "Ready when you are."
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"He's not the most personable person," he said, somewhat diplomatically. But he didn't really disagree, either.
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"He told me my life was too easy and had no conflict and that it made me spoiled. That I'm thin skinned, too sensitive, and need to be coddled because of it."
He handed the phone back to Ben. "Do those work or do you want me to take more?"
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He went to pull his shirt on, though, trying not to be, again, hyper aware of his back.
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Anakin shifted so he wasn't facing Ben anymore, giving him some privacy.
"Some people deny your pain because it makes them too uncomfortable. Some people do it because they're just mean assholes. You'll learn to tell the difference..." Anakin shrugged. "Alec is just a mean asshole." He said it blandly, like he'd experienced it all before.
"Can I help you with anything else?"
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"Can I hug you before you go?"
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However, the circumstances being what they were, Anakin didn't really hesitate once the request fully register.
"Absolutely."
He stood up and crossed the distance between them. He didn't have anything more to say, just an honest, solid hug.
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It -
It was nice.
It actually did manage to ground him, hoped it made it clear to Anakin that there was a real friendship there and that Ben cared, no matter how complicated things were.
"Thank you," was all he said when he let go.