video;

[traceofeffort]

Ow, my head hurts trying to keep the damn timeline straight... I might have to figure out how to work a program or something, I'm gonna go nuts keeping things in order. Hi, everyone, I got a bunch more memories and the other Roselia cannot function without help. [Lisa's dressed casually and, for once, apparently feeling the heat; just a plain white T-shirt visible from here as she sits at her desk, hair in a ponytail, and the low drone of at least one fan somewhere. She pauses a moment to gather her thoughts and will her headache away; after a second, she starts again.]

Okay, so. I've got a few more songs, which is good! My other self was stuck wrangling a bunch of girls that are alternately divas and well-intentioned idiots, which is bad. They care a lot about each other, which is good! Occasionally they care so much they drive wedges between themselves and damn near broke up, which is bad. We were good enough - we had enough fans - that we sold merch at our shows! That's super cool! We also pushed ourselves hard enough that our juniors found us literally passed out in our dressing room before a show. That's pretty terrible. I could keep going, but we were morons, and also we were best friends and sisters-in-arms. And I... have complicated feelings, about it. I don't have that. Forget bandmates, I don't have anyone I'm that close to, not like that. [She can already hear a couple people objecting, but they're gonna have to wait.] Like... am I ever gonna be like that? Big enough to fill a real, honest-to-God live house that I booked and paid for and sold tickets to? I know I'm getting better, but that feels like a lot. I feel like they had everything figured out - well, Yukina did, the rest of us were just kinda in her wake for a while - and here I am just. Bumbling along. I know what I want to do, just... it's daunting, seeing what the next step on that road could look like. I'll figure things out, I know I will. I refuse to do anything less, y'know? I just need some time to get my head screwed on straight. Again.

Oh, and they decided I'd make a good healer, in the MMO we played for a bit. Also one of them called me mom when she didn't think I could hear her? Their day-to-day lives are hilarious. Not that I can talk, I'm pretty sure my life is a comedy from the outside. [Snorting, she shakes her head, before clicking off the camera.]

Comments

audio;

[bearshermark]

You might not have that sort of thing now, but there's still plenty of time for it. I'm sure you will someday, if that's what you really want.

voice but expect her to forget he can't see her;

[traceofeffort]

I... [She sounds very tentative; but then, she's spent a couple months pouring her heart out to him, what's a little more?]

I do. I want it. Even if it's not the same as what they had, I'm tired of not being good enough. Of not feeling like I'm good enough. But... [A pause, and a long breath sucked in.] I know more now. She wasn't any good either, not when she picked it back up, not to her own mind. She- she stopped. Put it down and walked away, and it was only a fluke that she came back to music.

[bearshermark]

Think you've just gotta put yourself out there, then. Play wherever you can and connect with people that share your passion for music. I'm sure you'd find them.

[traceofeffort]

Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just... it's hard. I've been doing this almost since I started high school, and I don't feel like I have anything to show for it. I haven't made those connections.

[She takes a deep breath and lets it out.] But, hey. Maybe I'm overthinking it... again. Maybe it really is that easy. [Her tone softens; she smiles at the microphone.] Maybe it's like I said, I just need to think a little less and jump in.

[bearshermark]

Maybe you're being too hard on yourself? You've still got plenty of time to make connections and kick your career into gear. Just because your past life made it at a certain age doesn't mean you have to. All the work you're doing is going to pay off- I'm sure of it.

[traceofeffort]

Well, yeah, I'm being hard on myself because if I can do it, then I can do it, right? [She sticks her tongue out at him, before laughing briefly and smiling more honestly.]

You're probably right. It's just hard to watch another me with a whole studio album that's younger than I am now. I... thank you for believing in me. Seriously. I'll get there. I just might need someone to keep me going sometimes.

[bearshermark]

Happy to do that for you if I can.

voice;

[howkickassiam]

Personally, I've started to realize I was really deep in being an infiltration expert in the other world I came from. I just now remembered how to pick locks, so I'm nothing like an expert here.

[ Besides... ]

I'm not sure it's what I would pick to do, here.

voice;

[traceofeffort]

Infiltration, huh... [Thief? Secret agent? Soldier? Con? There are a lot of options there, and she can see why none of them sound very appealing.]

Well, it's not like you have to use your powers - well, not powers, but it's the line - for evil, yeah? But I think I understand what you're getting at.

voice;

[howkickassiam]

It appeals to me.

Probably too much.

[traceofeffort]

-ah. [What are you even supposed to say to that?] Then again, I'm sure it's an in-demand talent regardless, right? So. There's that.

Or, uh. Did you mean using your powers for evil appeals to you? I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[There's a muffled groan from her end; she was doing so well! Sigh.]

[howkickassiam]

Nah, I'm not a thief. I'm just... a super curious person. I already got myself fired from Leia Smith's office for being too curious. I've only known how to do this stuff for like 5 days.

[traceofeffort]

Oof. Okay, yeah, I can feel that, at least. Sorry about the job. [Come to think, she hadn't heard from Smith on the network for a bit... strange.] I can't imagine you got much of value out of the attempt, either, which kinda makes it suck even worse.

[not_as_i_do]

Oof, that's a lot to absorb, Lisa. I don't blame you one bit for having a headache. ... Peppermint is useful for that, if you don't have any ibuprofen or acetominephen on hand, by the way. Stick of gum, what have you.

[a pause, because out of all of that he has a very important query]

What the devil is an MMO?

[traceofeffort]

I still have pills left over from my ill-fated adventure through the portal, so I'm already equipped, thankfully. I might try the oil another time, though - thanks.

[She chuckles at the somewhat predictable question.] Massively multi-player online game - think a role playing game, just scaled way up. My bandmates convinced me to play with them.

[not_as_i_do]

Oh, you're welcome. Not much of a doctor if I don't share what I know with people who'd need it, am I?

[he smiles, then frowns more out of concentration than disapproval at her definition]

I've never had the experience, I'm afraid, but I've heard of them. That's one of those things where you ... pretend you're other people, right? Dungeons and Dragons?

[traceofeffort]

Mm! I'm glad we haven't needed doctors as much as I thought we would, on that note. I was expecting we'd get in a lot more trouble.

Ah, yeah, that's one of the more well-known ones. Now take that, move it online, and instead of someone running the adventure directly, there are thousands of players running through a constructed world with things that tell the story. That part went over my head, but the fighting got my blood pumping.

[not_as_i_do]

That does sound like a good way to spend some time with friends.

... You know, I wonder if I should put together some sort of emergency field kit. I was originally trained as an Army doctor, you know. Could come in handy if we have any more developments like this...

[traceofeffort]

[Lisa opens her mouth to answer him, but pauses a moment. When she does go on, it's more measured.]

I think we'd benefit a lot from that. But don't push yourself on our account - as much as I'd like the reassurance, I also don't want to make you feel obligated to step in. Nothing stops us from going to the hospital like normal people. Are you sure?

[consortofalderaan]

I can't offer any advice on how to cultivate talent but maybe keeping a journal of your memories would help you separate your current life's experiences from your past life memories.

[traceofeffort]

Maybe... More than the timeline, I almost need a journal of all the people she knew. Five bands, five people each, all of them interconnected. Plus Marina, and Rokka...

[She trails off, turning pensive for a moment, murmuring to herself but not so quiet the mic doesn't catch her.]

Marina, Rokka, SPACE's owner... SPACE, Galaxy, CiRCLE... Am I just overthinking things again?

[consortofalderaan]

What are your memories about?

[traceofeffort]

Well... a lot of nothing, honestly? All just nice, calm stuff. School. Hanging out. Band practice. Live shows- well, concerts, whatever we're calling them. Sure, I screw up sometimes, I get in arguments, but none of it's. Terrible? Being in Roselia's not the same as being a solo act here, that's for damn sure.

[consortofalderaan]

What would you say the differences are?

[traceofeffort]

It's... Roselia gave me people to depend on when I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. Inspiration. People to compete with, and soar to new heights alongside. Someone that needed me, that told me in so many words she wanted me to stay by her side. No matter what, they were there for me, even if they didn't know how to be there for me.

Here, it's just me and whatever advice and support I can drum up from the others. I live and die by my own guitar. Sayo or Ako or Rinko can't cover for me if I forget a measure. And I don't have their natural, raw talent to hide behind. Yukina and Sayo sold Roselia, even if they swore up and down it had to be all five of us. On this side, I'm just Lisa. I work hard, I do my best, and at the end of the day, that's all I can do. Nobody's here to prop me up and drag me back to practice when I'm feeling sorry for myself, but myself.

...well, that's not entirely true anymore. I can think of a couple people that would - politely - needle me until I picked my guitar back up.