tramitem_net | Video post from the Bureau

[A new face from the Bureau appears on the screen - this is Ms. Garcia. She appears exhausted and stressed.]

This last week we investigated a disturbance referred to as 'the corruption' in the other universe. Today we can confirm that it has spreed to our universe. We have examined a number of individuals and monitored their symptoms. We can say for sure it is not a virus, bacteria, fungus, or pathogen of any kind. How it spreads is unclear to us at this time. We haven't ruled out a supernatural explanation.

We do know its symptoms,

[She reads from her clipboard.]

Which are as follows:

- Excessive violent emotions
- Compulsion to act on violent emotions
- Bloodshot eyes, with yellow-red tinged irises
- Sunken, darkened eye sockets
- Excessive sweating, though fever is not a symptom
- Nervousness and agitation
- Exhaustion, although individuals still seem to sleep a normal schedule
- Blackened veins showing through skin; however, when blood is drawn tests find no abnormalities.

[She looks up from her clipboard.]

We have heard reports that there are some measures a person can take to prevent catching this corruption. We are currently studying to see if these methods help so we can give a more definitive answer.

[She returns to her clipboard again.]

- Mindfulness techniques and meditation, to make yourself consciously aware of your emotions and to exercise self control.
- Selfless service to others, helping those in need.
- Possessing one of each stone from the other universe's Stone Festival will ward off the corruption

[She looks up from her clipboard again and lowers it]

No one has died from this condition that we know of. However, the compulsion to act on violent emotions is concerning. If you are experiencing symptoms of this corruption, we ask that you come into the Bureau building and seek our help.

Thank you for your time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How should I know? I don't remember that part. I only remember the cause trouble bit not what happens once you have. Must be worth something to somebody or else why would I have been told to do it?

[ A beat. ]

Are you angry?

Only I noticed you weren't capitalizing anything.

how very demonic, doing what you're told

OH, SO SORRY
IS THIS BETTER?
HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE SO TYPOGRAPHICALLY-MINDED

Now... now your caps lock seems to be stuck?

INDEED. I have been stuck in caps lock all day, metaphorically speaking. I suggest you don't push my buttons, Anthony J. Crowley.

Full names? We're using full names now too? That is bad... Only mum does that.

[ And its enough to cause a wince even though he is on the opposite side of town. ]

Maybe you should do a good deed? Help some little old lady across the street? Leave and extra generous tip at your favorite coffee shop?

Good deeds? A DEMON is suggesting I do Good Deeds?

Weeellll, you don't sound yourself really.

[ This not reading quite right he altered it. ]

Aren't typing quite like yourself. Might help... if you have caught a bit of that malaise that's been going around.

Oh, yes, I see. Sweet little Aziraphale might not be so understanding and complacent as usual, seems a bit touchy, so surely he's ill. Surely nothing you could have done, hm?

I might have had something to do with it... But you said you've been stuck in caps lock all day and you've only just seen the mess I caused.

Oh, you certainly have had something to do with it.

[But let's not play the blame game. Deep breath...]

I've tried to make it go away in the ways one does when they're in a foul mood. Thought I might relax and try to do some painting of my own and instead I slashed the canvas when the fellow from the neighboring studio visited and threw off the whole process. How do I go out and help other people when other people set me off?

[ There was a measure of pride taken in being able of ticking Fell off as much as everyone else, unfortunately with Aziraphale there was so much sympathy as well it easily overwhelmed anything else. ]

You could call it modern art? Sell it for more than the canvas is worth.

How many of those stones did you end up with? Maybe I could give you mine, help complete the set. It might work.

Edited 2020-07-01 14:30 (UTC)

Oh that's dastardly. Surely it'd be obvious...?

Only a couple, I'm afraid. The two we would have needed in that temple, I believe.

But I couldn't take yours. No, I can't possibly. After all, a demon with these issues would be much worse for the city than an ordinary human. I have to think of the greater good.

Unless...

You don't suppose their effect could be...shareable, do you? Perhaps an area of effect instead of isolated to its owner?

Never has been. Some guy recently bought an amazingly expensive artwork that automatically shredded itself, ruining it by anyone's standards, and its new owner was thrilled. They called it 'performance art'. You just need a good story and some one will buy it. Call it... 'Requiem for a Tortured Artist'. The more snooty it sounds the more people will fall for it.

As for the gems, I don't have that many. Just the two from the Temple, plus a purple and a yellow, but having them all in close proximity must do something?

[ He did like the direction this was going in regardless! ]

Think we should get together? Cuddle up on the sofa with our pockets full of stones?

Automatically shredded itself? What a waste. I do love the concept, as a statement on ephemerality, I guess? But art is about an experience and it's so very sad when that experience is very limited.

Well, with these sudden mood swings, it might be good to have someone around to keep me in check, so I can't do more damage to property. A soothing presence, perhaps, to focus my attention on.

We could get takeout? Open a bottle of wine? Unless young Clarence has convinced you towards a teetotaler lifestyle?

1.4 million dollars worth of ephemerality.

[ He smiled impressed by Fell's take on the art, though he really shouldn't have been. Naturally an art restorer would have an appreciation for art. ]

I could be soothing. Give you a shoulder to rest your head on.

Moroccan. We can order little things on sticks. It pairs well with wine. Which I don't think you have to be a terrible person to drink. You better watch out he doesn't find out you indulge now and then.

[ Then after a moment he thought to add another message.

He shouldn't do it. It was pathetic and sappy... but he was still human enough to allow these impulses to take over without being too disappointed with himself. ]

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