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[he is obviously not there. Wherever he is there is a cozy flat and the sight of a city that is not New York outside of the window. That might be hard to tell as it's bucketing rain. But nevermind that]

Are there really [he makes an expression like he's eating a whole basketful of lemons] portals now? Or has everyone finally lost their bloody minds?

Did you drink the water? Eat a funny mushroom? Tell me that I didn't miss out on some mass hallucination, because if so, I would have postponed the trip.

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No, they’re real. I bought some stuff from the place if you want some pics.

You could have got them anywhere. [he's not one to trust "pics"]

Okay, guess that’s fair. But I do have some sketches of the market place and the people, and let me tell you I’m not that good without a reference.

[He does send some pics of theses, along with one of a handful of coins that aren’t exactly recognizable. The art is... pretty good, like he’s been drawing for a long, long time.]

They actually pay a lot for sketches and watercolor paintings.

[its good, but not exactly convincing. They could have come from anywhere]

Can you put it on video?

[You can't see Clarence grimace from a text.]

I'm guessing you want videos of the marketplace? I can get you some tomorrow but I'm not super comfortable with recording people just doing their thing.

Whatever you're comfortable with. [honestly he still doesn't expect to believe it but at least it will be an interesting set design]

I drank the beer. I don't really know that it did anything to me beyond what beer normally does, so...

Drank the beer...where?

There? On the other side of the portals.

You really ought to be here for this, man.

As soon as I can. [He runs a hand over his face. It sounds insane but he clearly has people to look after.]

Even if it sounds like absolute bullocks.

Bollocks...that's British for balls, right?

...Yeah, that's exactly what this sounds like.

[a beat. He's Scottish but he won't die on that hill]

And you're telling me that's not what it is

You wouldn't believe it until you tried it. I can tell you I didn't.

video;

scotch_egg - 2020-07-12 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

video;

howkickassiam - 2020-07-12 16:00 (UTC) - Expand

[ He drew in a long breath and... lied. ]

They've obviously lost their minds. Everything's fine here!

Ho-- how's the trip? You're looking better, bit of color in those cheeks.

Shut up. What are you hiding? [a beat] What did you do?

What did I do?

[ He repeated the phrase as he flipped a bit of red fabric with intricately woven patterns at the screen. ]

I bought a scarf and one for Aziraphale.