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This is really embarrassing, but I have seriously sprained my ankle. I can more or less manage, but I can't quite manage carrying things, opening doors, and crutches, yet. I can eat take-out and delivery forever to avoid it, but I need some help with the cat-food and cat litter that got dumped just outside my door.

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Are you all right, darling? I can drop off some actual home cooked food as well, if you like--a casserole to break up the monotony?

You do not need help with the cat pans, do you?

I might be able to help with your ankle, if you want.

I appreciate the offer, a lot, but I make my living on my feet, pretty literally, and I don't know how I could possibly explain to anyone why I'm suddenly no longer injured.

I will not turn down food. I'm okay getting things done inside the apartment - I can mostly do them sitting or standing and leaning. Carrying - I'd need a few more arms.

And I hope like hell that I don't wake up with them tomorrow.

What happened?

Why didn't you text me?

I stepped off a curb.

And I didn't text you because it didn't occur to me?

Wasn't as bad as you thought. Some ice and it was fine.

I don't think I'm that good yet, but yeah, fair enough. I'm learning some normal medical stuff too, though I'm sure you know how to take care of a sprained ankle. Could probably google it anyway.

I guess if you need anything else in the near future, I can help.

I can be over as fast as an Uber can take me. I'll make you dinner or something.

This is almost enough to make me regret my career choices. I've seen a doctor - and a sports medicine specialist. I'll be okay. Maybe when this is done we can see if you can do something about the state of my ankles, period.

[Look, he laughed, because he knows how graceful you actually are, Ben. This is a bit ironic.]

What do you need?

I might need to set up a rotation.

And apologize to Bail. Repeatedly. So let me say once I've done that.

Forgiveness for being a jackass.

And my cat litter brought inside.

How did it happen, take a bad hit at the roller derby?

I stepped off the curb wrong. I wish I had a cool story, though. Maybe I should make up one about a bear fight.

Is there something wrong with them normally? Or just a repetitive stress type of strain?

The better the story the more sympathy presents you will get. Maybe the bear escaped from the zoo while you were passing by.

For what?

I can help with your cat and cat litter. Do you want me to bring you anything else?

My culinary skills are at your disposal. Also, if you want company, I can do that, too.

What did you do?

Oh, you poor love. Have you had a hand with the cat things yet? I can make you some nice home-cooked things so you don't have to deal with takeaway.

[she will commandeer either her cousin's kitchen or her half-brother's to DO it, but she will cook for complete strangers at the drop of a hat]

The opposite of repetitive strain.
Too much time in boots so rigid they're basically ankle braces.

And, clearly, I sprained my ankle by kicking it in the head to save a puppy

I'm sorry, I truly do appreciate the offer and do not wish to be rude, but have we met?

For not letting you know.

I don't think - actually can you pick up my prescription?

I am definitely going to want company.

I stepped off the curb.

I will bring games.

And I was asking what you did to your boyfriend, but now I'm curious about this offending curb.

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